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GOLEM...sexual content

a knuckled skull
with no where to go
made of mud and blood
took a needle to sew

made her
during a blood moon
her parts for pleasure
some one to spoon

did it in shadows
so angels couldn't see
fashioned detritus
scraped a dead tree

gave her toes
and a small chin
played a samba
and shaped her thin

after i wove her
from spiritous mist
she called me god
i did insist

i wanted her sexy
incantations and scum
danced the who-la
resurrection did come

in barbarous tongue
enshrined truth on her head
she animated
and got out of bed

who am i
she begged to see

my lover always
i said with glee

what is love
she did inquire

its feelings of warmth
that do inspire

where are they, where is it
is it in this room
i have nothing in me
where does it loom

i pulled down my pants
she looked up with shock
oh my god she cried
what a beautiful cock

she came at me
unbridled and mad
grabbed me and broke me
and called me dad

she starved for a stuffing
and sucked like a pig
huffing and puffing
my dick got so big

we lived together
til i dropped dead
she lives forever
still waiting in bed

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
In Jewish folklore, a golem is an animated anthropomorphic being that is magically created entirely from inanimate matter (specifically clay or mud). #sex #adult #explicit #death #occult
Editing stage: 

Comments

on the Golem. I wonder what the next person to visit that bedroom thought? Would she respond to them? The title is uhhhh... I wish you had said something like: "The Golem Sleeps" or Waits etc...
language was good and the theme too. Just the kind of thing that animates me. Lol. The ending is great, which prompted my questions. ~Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

DUNO ;)

Thanks for the read and comments Geezer

Z

author comment

Makes the read very easy with a nice flow
I would drop “what is love “ and the few lines there. It trivializes for me the sexual tensions
thanks for the explanations!

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

Many thanks for the read and comment ,,,hmmmm on the line subtraction ,,,Will consider carefully ! :)

author comment
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