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The Golden Tear Of Fall
A golden leaf falls to the ground,
As she, the tree, now sheds a tear;
It tumbles down with ne'er a sound
A lifeless frond, crisp and browned
No longer green this time of year;
A golden leaf falls to the ground.
With tumult blowing all around
The leafy laden atmosphere,
It tumbles down with ne'er a sound.
Then gently floating downward bound
Rustic, wrinkled, disheveled, sear;
A golden leaf falls to the ground.
Soon to rest, whereupon is drowned
In a pool of foliage, near;
It tumbles down with ne'er a sound.
So Autumn chills will sweep profound
And frantic winds at last appear;
A golden leaf falls to the ground
It tumbles down with ne'er a sound..
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
A seasonal Victorian villanelle. Compliments to all at Neo ~ Alan
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Teddy15
Tue, 2020-09-22 08:20
Dear Alan
A celebration and welcome for Autumn, my favourite time of year, such beautiful imagery your golden leaf is welcome to fall into my path anytime. A golden tear and a beautiful villanelle, I think your title is just so warm and inviting. I like that the tree is a she, it makes it so delicate.
My compliments as always
Thank you...Teddy
Alan S Jeeves
Tue, 2020-09-22 14:45
Thank you Teddy...
for your golden comments. The reason (in poetry) we call a tree 'She' is because her bark is worse than her bite.
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Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
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author commentBreakinglogic
Tue, 2020-09-22 12:38
Alan,
Alan,
I love this poem throughout. I really liked the lines in your third and last tercet. Villanelles have a structure that intimidates me but this feels so well done and makes me want to try one!
☆ raffy
Teddy15
Tue, 2020-09-22 14:59
LoL
Now, where have I heard that before? (Wink)
Thank you...Teddy
Alan S Jeeves
Tue, 2020-09-22 15:08
I am pleased...
that you enjoyed 'The Golden Tear of Fall' ~ you are a star RAFFY. You must try a villanelle it will make you feel like a million of your dollars when finished and in your portfolio. Once you have gotten the hang of it ~ it is still damn difficult.
The reason we call this a Victorian villanelle is because each line has eight syllables (19th century writers liked this metre). A 20th. century villanelle (modern) usually has ten syllables per line. Take a look at Dylan Thomas' Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night' , Possibly the most famouse 'modern' villanelle of all. You may find your first attempt at a villanelle more comfortable with the 8,8,8, (8) format though. I (we all) look forward to reading your composition here.
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Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
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author commentc lynn brooks
Tue, 2020-09-22 14:50
Alan
I love the title and your first line invited more reading
as always this is perfect. I tried writing one of these but without sucess
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Alan S Jeeves
Tue, 2020-09-22 15:22
Chrys...
you must try harder with your villanelle. You will get there if you persevere.
Trees, like animals, are able to cry too ~ although differently to you or I.
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Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
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