Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Give More, Why less

When you pardon, do it with grace
if you can give more, why give less

To those hurt, give them much solace
if youcan give more, why give less

If one is not enough, give brace
if you can give more, why give less

When wrong, don't be shy to confess
if you can give more, why give less

Win or lose, give your best in race
if you can give more, why give less

May kindness reflect from the face
if you can give more, why give less

goodness is about graciousness
if you can give more, why give less

Editing stage: 

Comments

This is a gracious piece in its theme and well crafted indeed. You let the form serve your intent really well by using that benignant refrain. Some lines are of seven instead of being octosyllable.
I especially loved the closing lines.

"goodness is about graciousness
if you can give more, why give less"

Kudos.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Thanks Rula for your time and read. I have now changed two 7 syllable verses to eight syllables.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

One rhyme sound throughout. You cheated with the occasional "... ace" sound, but I didn't mind the assonance as an exception.
Then, the subject is superb. I would have been a little harsher in my admonitions, but you took the high road and suggested to "give more" in a far more gentle way.
I liked the poem.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

Thank you Wesley for your time and comment

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

I've forgotten about this form and you reminded me. Love the message, the flow and the style. Thanks for sharing.

Alid

Thank you Alid for your time and read

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.