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A Gift From The Rain
Grim faces from the sky
brings forth the heavenly tears.
Sheltered from nature's whims
I sat in my house, welcoming
the memories of my youth
when I was only a child,
playing with friends in the rain.
Unafraid of the lightning,
ignorant of what harm it could bring,
squealing in delight,
laughing and dancing around
before our angry mothers
called all of us home..
Those are the good old days
I will never forget,
the gift of fond memories
which return when it rains......
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Region & Country
singapore
Favorite Poets
Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Sarojini Naidu and friends in Neopoet.
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Comments
emeka ozurumba
Mon, 2014-04-28 08:35
the end of the poem is just
the end of the poem is just perfect, its conclusion is perfect
alidzain
Mon, 2014-04-28 11:26
Thank you
for the kind words. To me, a rainy day is not a bad day. You can hear the nature's orchestra when the thunder, the taping of raindros and the wind unite. Its beautiful.
Alid
author commentEduardo Cruz
Tue, 2014-04-29 09:21
Alid
WOW!
talk about letting it all hang out. this made me think of Emily Dickenson, that's how well it's written. There is a certain dreaminess to the poem. the reader feels as if it is their own memories.
This is the way to write a poem, to put the reader into your mind and see the imagery in there. Beautiful is a word that is not good enough for this poem. This is one that should be selected for the Neopoet Book.
Eddie C.
LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE
alidzain
Tue, 2014-04-29 15:15
Thanks, Eddie
for the kind words. I'm following a mentor's advice which is to read the poems of the famous poets so the way it was written might be inspired from what I have been reading and feeling at that moment. Glad you like it.
Alid
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