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The Giant of Africa

hail the giant of Africa
with a head bow and a gun salute
as she approaches from within
with her flowing gigantic green white green
your green which had been sold and your white stained
by her beautiful diverse fingers that hunger for a division.

hail the giant of Africa
the only giant that lives in the behind
it seems modernization is your enemy
it seems those rancorous termites with their succulent grows fat
though appears strong but weak
oh, hail the giant of Africa indeed.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

that I see with this one is; the tense of the word [succulent]. It should be succulence. Of course the term Giant of Africa could be made a little bit clearer. ~ Geezer.
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for this is the last time you will fail, in this ship of democracy the captains in there are the ones misleading.

the tone of your poem, the strength and stance of the power of the giant continent.
You have a great voice in this poem.

I'm not totally sure you have developed the theme enough, it can be longer! You need to go deeper into a very strong statement "it seems modernization is your enemy" How does Africa fight modernization? Why? is that necessarily a bad thing? What is the relationship between modernization and the soul of Africa.
My own feeling is it may be good that the Masai are restricted now to kill lions as a ritual for manhood; we will run out of lions. But now they all have cell phones...what will be left of the Masai? Africa must create itself, and modernize on its own terms. I don't know what that is. That is for your generation, and those to come.
,,

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

the meaning of the term "Giant of Africa". ~ Geezer.
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its a very terrible situation that calls for an urgent attention, i wish my voice could be heard someday, but i will keep saying this until i die.

always remember to make a critique of other poems
using the hoe is not madness for nothing

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