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The Ghost Train

I didn't want to let him go. After all, he was only five.
‘Come on Mum,’ says Senior Seven, ‘I'll guard him with my life.’
I studied them standing tall and straight. They looked so big and grown.
I felt a strong nostalgic wave. Where had my little ones gone?

I stretched across, to get a hug as they entered through the gate,
but they both squirmed neatly out of reach. Sissy cuddles? No thanks mate.
Again the thought, 'where have they gone, my babies of last year?'
Sunrises and sets have insidiously been stealing them from me.

So, on the ghost train without me, all by themselves, they went.
And the scream began the moment they disappeared into the tent.
It was a shriek, it didn't stop. And the journey was very slow.
The long loud wail of Master Five echoed throughout the Show.

I heard the howl - high-pitched and scared (and that ride it was so slow)
and, when Master Five stepped off the train, his face was as white as snow.
His eyes were wide and huge in his head. His skin was almost transparent.
The jaunt had been no joy for him. I felt the worst of parents.

I watched them as they ran to me, no longer so grown and big.
I spread my arms out open wide, and held tight both my kids.
And Senior Seven stood brave and strong ('tho his legs shook to the utmost)
‘That's the last time I ride with him. He scared me more than the ghost!’

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

This sounds like the Roller Coaster ride from Hell! I'm scared to death of those things. Won't catch me near one! Your storytelling prowess is mighty, as usual. I find no fault with any of the lines, only appreciation for the work!

love, Cat (& eddy)

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

thank you so very much for the lovely comment

hope you are over your flu
love and hugs
judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Loved this piece it held a mystery and screamed out the solution,
Yours, Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

lol - he screamed alright :)
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

write about the sea robbers
what they call them
pirates
then i will read all your lovely poetry

my latest refrain

''This universe has no beginning,
no end
that we mortals can claim knowledge of '''
Loved

loved

what you are saying loved
do you really want me to write about pirates?
what a funny thing to say...

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

you love water
live near water
love rain
and so when you compose,
with water as your refrain
poetry will come out as
dew... then twill pour ....don't believe me
just try will you

''This universe has no beginning,
no end
that we mortals can claim knowledge of...'''
Loved

loved

yes, i am aware of that loved
i am always near water
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Worthy of a fairy tale,
told with such sureness
of touch and feeling,
we sense the whole completely
as if those children were our own.

How we love them.

I have had none of my own,
but each and every kindergarten child
I have loved,
all different from each other,
all loveable.

Like you, judyanne
annanya

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

for the very lovely comments
hugs
judyanne
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

they may be your neighbours' or maids
but all kids are just the same ...
hungry for love
they ever remain
any ones kids
yours or mine.
are mine.

loved

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