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I took three bullets on the side smiling
While another two on the chest
Try to poison my artery.
Underground in a sewage
While the sirens blare above my head.

Pour alcohol to the wounds
I use a knife to scoop the metals out.
Woke up to the happy eyes of a stranger,
"You lost a lot of blood..."
"How long have I been out?"
"Two weeks, Judith always had her hopes."

The door swayed, my savior to the spotlight
A calypso stood with brown burning eyes.
"Look at you, you are awake",
Flashes of light in my mind
"Take this, aspirin, to subdue the headache."

I'm a ghetto child, born a crime
Raised by the street the child of a lesser god
Someday, I'll be king of it, and in my reign
I'll teach these kids that running keeps you falling
Or take away as many as I can from it.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
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Editing stage: 


much promise as a story. I would love to see this filled in and used as a story to illustrate the perils of living a life of crime.
The redemption of a criminal by the beautiful girl. ~ Geezer.

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