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GETTYSBURG

At Gettysburg the young men fell
as if reaped by some scythe from hell
never to return to home
an early end to their life's tome

Muskets, grapeshot, and mini-balls
death hurtled from behind stone walls
leading to the cries and screams
of seasoned soldier's shortened dreams

This battle fought so long ago
resulted in the world we know
a land ideas had torn asunder
laid open to pillage and plunder

All the boys in gray and blue
who died where a green corn field grew
left a grieving widow or mother
while bringing death to one another

The victor's prize ? To bury all
who gave their lives answering the call
neither side was fully wrong or right
in this bloody brothers' fight

My family being Southern men
I recall this battle now and then
and all the patriots who died
believing God was on their side

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

The follies of human wisdom - and do we ever learn?

So sad that this happened. Stanza's one and five are so powerful and so sad.

This is a reminder of the vanity and obsurdity of war.

Loved it all.

Love Mand xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

In my opinion the only wars worth fighting are the ones fought in self defense. Thanks for the time to comment............scribbler

author comment

God has no sides, no religion and no *enemies*.... just ask me, I've got a direct link...on the ancestral tree of humanity, aren't we all brothers and sisters, out on a limb?

Serious write, Scribbler. I don't know if taking 8th graders to Washington DC and Gettsburg has resumed. I just know that my kids were moved by the sea of white crosses, the silence and the feeling that the place evoked. Usually 8th graders are anything but moved to silence and reverence.

~A

There IS such thing as sacred ground.................scribbler

author comment

I always give serious consideration to your ideas. In this case leaving out "to" would leave line too short don't you think ? Open to alternative however..............stan

author comment

Great poem
reminds the human being of their thirst for blood and greed.

Mona Rose

Thank you mona.............................scribbler

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There are indeed times when a fight is necessary and any who think otherwise is misguided or a fool. Be assured there is some type of afterlife as I have glimpsed it more than once.............stan

author comment

Poems about the civil war are usually not something I am particularly interested in; the theme is so much used in so many ways that it wears thin, and more often than not the author plunges us into the moral turpitude of slavery, or the unwavering justice of the South's cause of Freedom to choose.

But this is very good. I find it distant with old history, yet vivid and unrelenting. I like rhyming, it's very good - only to be expected, from your pen - and I really like the connection between then and now, with the implication of the shaping of who and what we are coming from the battle. And I feel no judgement in this, for one side or the other, just a vast sense of sadness, that men do these things to each other, believing they are righteous.

Great poem.

Respectfully, Race

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

I have studied and thought of this war for years. Both sides were wrong. The North for trying to shove federalism down the throats of Southerners. The South for allowing slavery to become an issue. As devastating as the war and "reconstruction" were for the southern states, I often wonder. Who would have stopped Hitler and the Soviet Union had the U.S. been divided ? I thank you for taking the time to read and comment on a subject I'm sure I'll revisit from time to time............................scribbler

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