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Galvanized!

During the wee hours of my Prime…..
In such diurnal course, I was wallowing on my reading desk
Trying to read meaning into my tome….
There came an utter excitatory…..as I looked out of my window
Bewildered by the exhilaration of the throng down……
Holy smoke! “thou eyes couldest not believe what I saw as that early hour”?
Shocked by the crowd that shouted euphorically…
my vision became like a hat with a diaphanous veil……
to my dorsum, I received stupefactions that sent crepitated and sharp jitters like that of a rattlesnake………….
What could that be? I asked rhetorically to such frippery….
“It’s the popular beverage”, an onlooker yelled merrily……
“coffee chocolates”, my mouth watered, hastily, I was soon found cock-a-hoo around the thrilled.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
i love Coffee chocolates!!!
Editing stage: 

Comments

Firstly a great welcome to Neopoet, this seems to be an amble into your own world where we need to be introduced.
Your use of words will stump a few of the readers here, so try putting this into a group of Stanzas with a story with start and end.
Keep your reader wanting more, this is where a simpler use of words with more excitement is needed.
I see you have at the end used an old expression of:- "Cock a Hoo" this should be
Cock-a-hoop
adj (usually postpositive)
1. in very high spirits
2. boastful
3. askew; confused
Perhaps from the phrase to set the cock a hoop to live prodigally, literally: to put a cock on a hoop, a full measure of grain.
Some of these old sayings are taken from very old English and not used much today, you should read up on:-
"Pop Goes the Weasel"
What does Pop Goes the Weasel mean?
Pop! goes the weasel.
A penny for a spool of thread.
A penny for a needle.
That's the way the money goes.
Pop -- goes the weasel!
All around the mulberry bush,
The monkey chased the weasel.
The monkey thought it was all in fun,
Pop! goes the weasel.
Have fun and have a great time here at Neopoet,
Yours Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

i must tell you that first of all, i am so happy to see you pin point these few errors

trust me, i am gonna try harder next time

really grateful, thanks!!
xoxo

Dear you,
I am trying to x-ray the dynamism of human nature on my writing desk best exposed on a black and white....

author comment

this is delightful, Nelly, and a great first post.
I look forward to more.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

i am so happy you commented here...really appreciate it
thanks

Dear you,
I am trying to x-ray the dynamism of human nature on my writing desk best exposed on a black and white....

author comment

i am so happy you commented here...really appreciate it
thanks

Dear you,
I am trying to x-ray the dynamism of human nature on my writing desk best exposed on a black and white....

author comment

Your poem is unique and fun to read.

If you were to fill in the blanks or the "...." with words and images, you could also probably make a second poem out of those, too!

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

thanks.

really grateful

Dear you,
I am trying to x-ray the dynamism of human nature on my writing desk best exposed on a black and white....

author comment

I enjoy the excitement of reading this
My mind was locked waiting patiently to find what it is that you found so galvanizing "coffee chocolate".

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

everything you say, I wanna hear
thanks.....

Dear you,
I am trying to x-ray the dynamism of human nature on my writing desk best exposed on a black and white....

author comment
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