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FURY redone
FURY
a raging fire caught
by a hungering wind
in all of hell's madness
steals the air.
I can’t breathe
I gasp for hope.
two dark clouds roll in
from heaven’s sky.
I smell the rain
i will endure
the pain
of living
again
…
Editing stage:
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Comments
alidzain
Sat, 2016-11-05 17:10
joe
this is a powerful poem.
Alid
jane210660
Sun, 2016-11-06 09:42
I see a note of hope and
I see a note of hope and light here Joe.
A powerful poem. Jx
------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.
jane210660
Thu, 2016-11-24 16:32
I like the edit - you have
I like the edit - you have added a new nuance. Jx
------------
Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.
Esker
Fri, 2016-11-25 04:07
great revision!
"I cannot breathe
left gasping for hope"
my only changes I put in
and as U can tell Im old school
and yes I enjoyed rhyme poems
as a young adult and now
old man!
although I just meander on
Free form!
U can feel the sparks in this
one....the lash of the tempest
of that storm..
Much Live
Much Life
in this Joe!
Mr Esker!
alidzain
Fri, 2016-11-25 13:49
wow
You're a one helluva poet, my friend. Seriously. This is perfect.
Alid