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FURY redone

FURY
a raging fire caught
by a hungering wind
in all of hell's madness
steals the air.
I can’t breathe
I gasp for hope.
two dark clouds roll in
from heaven’s sky.
I smell the rain
i will endure
the pain
of living
again

Editing stage: 

Comments

this is a powerful poem.

Alid

I see a note of hope and light here Joe.
A powerful poem. Jx

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I like the edit - you have added a new nuance. Jx

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Remember we are a workshop site.
Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

"I cannot breathe
left gasping for hope"
my only changes I put in
and as U can tell Im old school
and yes I enjoyed rhyme poems
as a young adult and now
old man!
although I just meander on
Free form!

U can feel the sparks in this
one....the lash of the tempest
of that storm..
Much Live
Much Life
in this Joe!

Mr Esker!

You're a one helluva poet, my friend. Seriously. This is perfect.

Alid

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