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Frosted Glass

Submitted by raj on Wed, 2015-10-07 15:14

While liquid emotions thicken into chilly icicles
imprisoned within a brittle psyche
the longing draws your warmth
caressing a promise
of thy lips sipping my nectar

in that overwhelming moment
enveloped by your cozy warmth
tears roll down to greet you
drenching my cheeks
your touch turns them
into dew

Style / type: 
Free verse
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geremia

Wed, 2015-10-07 16:02

Geremia's picture

Bravo !!!!

joe

sei poeta davvero !

raj

Wed, 2015-10-07 16:08

Thanks Joe for your time read and encouraging words.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

wesley snow

Wed, 2015-10-07 16:09

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W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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raj

Wed, 2015-10-07 16:13

Thanks Wesley for your time, read and comment.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

alidzain

Wed, 2015-10-07 19:07

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thanks for sharing.

Alid

raj

Thu, 2015-10-08 14:32

Thanks Alid for your time, read and comment.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Sparrow

Wed, 2015-10-07 19:15

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A vision of beauty and so well written, no need to say more,
Yours as always, Ian..

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raj

Thu, 2015-10-08 14:32

Thanks Ian for your time, read and appreciative comment.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

lovedly

Wed, 2015-10-07 20:24

lovedly's picture

what else can loved say ?
just the nectar of dew
due from you

raj

Thu, 2015-10-08 14:31

Thanks Lovedly for your time and appreciative cheers.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

lovedly

Thu, 2015-10-08 15:17

lovedly's picture

back and glad to c u sublime
coming out of oceans lime
ok
underscore
ocean _lime

Rula

Fri, 2015-10-09 11:53

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What a lively capture raj!

Just wondering why have you used "turning" instead "turns" or "turned"

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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raj

Fri, 2015-10-09 14:05

Thanks Rula for your appreciative exclamation. As for the use of the word "turning" it was because the poem runs in present tense. I agree turns could still be used. Why do you think "turning" is not an appropriate usage?

Between this poem and Lovestruck could be a result of an infection of :"hiding emotions in metaphors" work shops which I used to peekaboo into from time to time as a learning experience...lol..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

Rula

Sat, 2015-10-10 09:28

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by sense I thought you need a verb here while "turning" as used here a gerund and is a noun.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
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raj

Sat, 2015-10-10 14:24

Ok. Will change to "turns"

Thanks Rula for taking time to suggest changes. Much appreciated

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment
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