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Friends

Submitted by Ian.T on Mon, 2014-02-03 03:34

It was different today
I could feel the starlight on my skin
I had been burnt by the sun
Yet overcame the pain
I wandered so.

The daily drag of my feet
The dust of ages gone by
Clung to me like wet sackcloth
Noises beat upon my ears
I longed for peace

"There you are" I seemed to cry
Tears fled from my aching eyes
Dropping into an abyss of grief
Then there were no more
I had survived

I should have looked before
There standing with me
Arms outstretched holding my mind
Were my friends from everywhere
I ran to you

Thank you my friends
You guarded the cliffs edge for me
You lifted me from the Earth
Then I saw all of you there
You held me close

Today now I can see
I can feel again without fear
The sun has now joined the starlight
It caresses my new world
Thank You

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I arranged the last lines to mean more if they are read as one Stanza. This is dedicated to the ones that know of their friends and to those that know what friends are for, Yours Ian.T
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

alidzain

Mon, 2014-02-03 18:52

alidzain's picture

thank you for this lovely piece. I do write poems with the same theme but they are in Malay. Anyway, I doubt I could write one in English as good as you, though..

Alid

Ian.T

Mon, 2014-02-03 19:04

Ian.T's picture
Volunteer badge

Just let your thoughts flow,
I think you could do better talking in English to a recorder,
then transposing it to word,
then making a poem of what you have said.
If you need any help then I can play with the words and the theme you wish to portray then you can have the last say.
You will learn so much more.
Jot down Ideas and I will give you a selection of words lines what ever for you to play with.
Thanks for your visit, and the comment on this one, it is directed at a few of my friends that are struggling, Take care and just use us here that is what Neopoet is for,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

alidzain

Tue, 2014-02-04 19:14

alidzain's picture

I'll see what I can do.I seldom have problem finding the theme for my poems, its using the right words to describe them which is the real pain..

Alid

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