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For A Friend Like You

Submitted by Dr_Jeebs on Tue, 2012-06-12 11:13

When you are feeling blue

She will stand by you

She will pull you through

that's what my friend will do
<!--break-->
When you are feeling down

When you are out

She will lift you off the ground,

replace your crown

Clear all your doubt
<!--break-->
This for a Friend like you

This is what a friend will do

For a friend like you
<!--break-->
I will break my heart in two

If only so that you can have one too

I will put my breath on pause

If only for us to once again feel your pulse
<!--break-->
I wish I could make you into a song

so, I can sing you all night long

It hurts to know you are gone

and wont be with us no more
<!--break-->
Now It's only okay to cry

'cos that's one right

even death can deny

we can not justify

so, we just have to find

A reason in our minds

why life chose to rob us blind
<!--break-->
This for a Friend like you

This is what a friend will do

For a friend like you
<!--break-->
I will shut my open doors

I will close my window blinds

What use is the moon

When the sun is gone
<!--break-->
We will be missing you

While wishing you

have found a safe haven

in that place called heaven

I just hope that is true

Review Request (Intensity): 
Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
This poem is a tribute to victims of the recent air mishap in my country.
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

Candlewitch

Mon, 2012-06-25 12:37

Candlewitch's picture
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When you are feeling blue
She will stand by you
She will pull you through
that's what my friend will do

When you are feeling down
When you are out
She will lift you off the ground,
replace your crown
Clear all your doubt

This for a Friend like you
This is what a friend will do
For a friend like you

I will break my heart in two
If only so that you can have one too
I will put my breath on pause
If only for us to once again feel your pulse

I wish I could make you into a song
so, I can sing you all night long
It hurts to know you are gone
and wont be with us no more

Now It's only okay to cry
'cos that's one right
even death can deny
we can not justify
so, we just have to find
A reason in our minds
why life chose to rob us blind

This for a Friend like you
This is what a friend will do
For a friend like you

I will shut my open doors
I will close my window blinds
What use is the moon
When the sun is gone

We will be missing you
While wishing you
have found a safe haven
in that place called heaven
I just hope that is true
---------------------------------------

Is this song lyrics? It is a very nice tribute to a good friend. I have no suggestions except to use line breaks/spaces instead of writing in <break>

always, Cat

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