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FRIEND IN SHADOWS (dramatic verse shop with last closing remarks by death)

I reckon that you've heard of me
because I get around a lot
and seen things that you'll seldom see
while traveling from spot to spot.

I meet new people every day
and come across them everywhere,
sometimes at work, sometimes at play.
They never see me till I'm there.

I acquaint myself with every one
but seldom do they call me friend.
Nobody thinks that I'm much fun,
I'll be a loner till my end.

You'll see me in the battle field
and in the old folks' nursing home
or where some driver fails to yield,
perhaps where a new type of plague roams.

We'll one day meet for just a while
me in rags with carrion breath
as I smile my lip-less smile
as I say "Hello, I'm death."

I've a light schedule today.
First client is a poet,
so I'd best be on my way.
Sunrise will come before I know it.

Just outside the "assisted" facility
i check to see where he is bound
then change my looks so he won't be
dismayed and scared when I come 'round.

Old, old man lying bed bound in an assisted care facility

Damn! I wish I was outside
instead of stuck here in this bed.
Beyond my window frosts abide.
I'd about as soon be dead.

They say the legs are first to go;
in my case it was abused knees.
Then heart was denied free blood flow.
The room is warm, yet my toes freeze.

And it's getting light out there
but I can't go so my mind just wanders
about the lives I used to share.
(I really wish I was out yonder)

The night just past contained no sleep
just thoughts of all the loved ones lost.
Old men are allowed to weep
when tallying up aging's cost.

These thoughts must be why my heart grows heavy
as I see a shadow become deeper.
Chest seems crushed as a breached levy
or a tree choked by kudzu's creepers.
The sun rises and I look down
at myself there, I look at rest.
And I see I have a puzzled frown
as if confused at this last quest.

Then I turn and see another
a wizened guy with a tall staff
who seems familiar as a brother
with a smile that looks about to laugh.
I'm glad to see his end came fast
and that he's unafraid of me
although he knows that he has passed
to where his legs are now pain free.
.............old man (now young and strong)..
I see a tunnel of pure light
and from it drift familiar voices
then turn to my new friend on my right
and ask "Friend just what are my choices?"
My smile finally becomes laughter
and I say that he can't long here stay,
his loved ones await in the hereafter.
He called me friend! That makes my day.
---old man goes joyfully into light and death turns away.........

It's great to see to some I'm a friend
so many cringe when they see me
as they reach their mortal end
and see their eternity.

So I check my daily list
My next stop will likely be unpleasant
So I'll fade into a lifting mist
no time for me to be hesitant.

Corporeal wind sends me my way
to a place outside Baghdad
Where I now must send away
an evil one who's naught but bad.

ISIS commander. All in black at a mass grave of his victims

Well the ditch won't hold much more
but BANG! another infidel
joins others from my pistol's roar
Another day has started well

death. now transformed to his usual ragged garb with bones and scythe:

There stands an almost animal
beside his victims of the day
who thinks he's heeding his god's call
I shan't give him time to pray


Above I hear a low slight whisper
so I look up in the sky
just as my skin begins to blister
from a drone's missile fired from high

I blink and see I'm at a gate
but there are no virgins there
Just Satan's demons filled with hate
no sign of heaven anywhere.

I feel a nudge and turn around
and confront a smile which has no skin
then I scream without a sound
What kind of place am I now in?

Death, glaring at the evil commander:

YOU I'm pleased to escort here
where fires and tortures rule the way
for this is the place which all men fear
I welcome you to hell today

Death pushes damned commander into a poll of lava then smiles at resultant screams

Oh! you say that you're in pain?
expect no sympathy from me
to all you've slaughters it's quite plain
here's where you deserve to be

Death turns away just as a demon starts digging out commander's intestines

Death now checks list again:

I sigh while once more I check my list
for it seems it's never ending.
Once more I go into the mist
my job description is unbending.

And though I can change my looks at will
appearance is of little worth
for the truth remains and always will.
We're doomed for death at birth.

Infant, father, mother, son
I've sent all types on to their way
once their time here's finally done
I greet them on their final day.

To a scant few I'm a relief
an answer to their prayer
and proof of after life belief
that there is eternity out there.

Journey now is at next stop
an old guy tapping a key board
who falls dead with nary a flop
hello you, welcome aboard............

Ya'll want me tell about he next client who was bound for another destination?

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 


this gave me chills. So straight forward, so bleak, so true. Maybe I'm just tired? Tired enough to feel someone following me I can't see when I turn around?
Well done Stan. This rocks.
I can't wait for your play.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program

As your poem rock dramatic verse. I hope to get mine rocking as well.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

All that rocking makes me feel stoned lol. I'm sure you'll do well also........stan

author comment

Gave you a case of the behindjas huh? lol . Well I guess that means this is OK. Now to work on the play......stan

author comment

till the very last line trying to guess who are you, the shadow? The wind? Till I read the last line, and of course you are not fun at all.

That was simply awesome, though might not be as tragic or dramatic (not that it's not Dramatic).
Thanks for sharing.


Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me

Not really meant to be dramatic, just an introduction to one character. And he's a character who will continue to stay in the shadowy parts of our world ......I hope heh.heh.heh........stan

author comment

well reading yours

I feel I shall have to join a rocking and rolling school
to compose soli(lol)quy like Stan you

Now I will read your Dramatic play
ere I myself
again my ignorance display

Your solo ain't exactly shabby either lol. I think this shop might be fun seeing all the characters being put on display and what they wind up doing.........stan

author comment

But i really enjoy your'' LOL'' as always
say what do you want to say
why '' lolo...'' all the way
what does it mean anyway?

Have a good day I will
lol or rfol through out the whole day

Ha now it's my turn to say
Stan stand by for today

Now you have to follow this Death creature to it's daily effect on those he touches.
Why some fear death's visit I don't know, one day we can sit by the beaver pond and talk of all these things in think.
You can make me some of that drink you favour and I shall bring some cider for you, that we will have no need to drink and eat it will all be a colourful symbolic gesture.
A great first part young man, now I am waiting to see who he kisses..
Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Wes has taught me well. After reading your poem again. I actually hear the boi e of death. Great work. I shall glean from this excellent piece and write one just as great on day. Hopefully by the end of this workshop.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

Is awesome. Death is always a favorite character of mine. The truthfulness and reality of this piece is well written

Keep Writing,

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Death is indeed a character which is universal. I intend to show different sides of him as the play evolves......stan

author comment

Looking forward to seeing the many sides of my old friend Death. He is a frequent visitor in my writing. It will be nice to see him in different ways.

Keep Writing,

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Just the checker for a midnight campfire tale! However, it might make the girl scouts too scared to eat their s'mores! LOL!! Good stuff, my friend!

As long as they don't have to change their pants lol........stan

author comment

What a fine play. Poetic and rocks. How is mine "the consequences of sin" do I need to be more poetic or am I to prosaic

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

This play will have at least one more part before I'm done but I'm pleased you like it so far. I checked out your play and it flowed as well as the original story.........story

author comment

Coming from you, it couldn't have been anything less captivating and succinct. You have nailed it Man! I can't wait to see more of the stuff unfold.


raj (sublime_ocean)

What can I say but thank you ? lol.....stan

author comment

This is one helluva poem but after reading it through its like a combined monologue and play! It started with a monologue where Death introduced himself, followed by the old man's monologue then came out as a play when he started talking with Death and the last is the terrorist's monologue and Death's talk with him . If I am to understand, a monologue is only written as a first person thoughts, then this piece is consist of 3 monologues and a little play. WOW! You really boggle my mind, sir! Kudos to you!


I'm thinking this is kinda what Wes had in mind but haven't heard from him yet on the latest addition. I guess he'll get around to it soon............stan

author comment

This most certainly qualifies as a play. Pretty simple, isn't it. Just poetry in the shape of a play.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program

Not much different from plain narrative.............stan

author comment

Just eliminate the third person omniscient and you're talking in first person. Then add the names on top of the characters lines and you're done.
Short workshop.
Hang on though. Rula and I ARE going to do the collaborative thing. I fully expect to shut the website down with all the confusion.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program

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