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French Mystery...

Detective French sat in the pub
Down in his cups again
Seems he had, it all wrong this time
As he looked out at the rain

This Mog; it was, a nasty beast
No body to arrest
Just the spirit of an evil thing
My God, it was a mess!

Guy reflected that it surely was
Time for him to go
Retiring now, seemed the thing to do
He'd gotten way too slow

The things he'd thought were writ in stone
Now just didn't apply
Spirits, madness and crazy things
Were too much for this detective Guy

Through a window blurred with waves of rain
He saw a familiar face
No... he thought, I must be wrong
It was a long forgotten case

I'll just finish up my drink and leave
It's getting late and dark
I'll take my time in getting home
Go the long way, through the park

DETECTIVE FRENCH DISAPPEARS!
No clues to where he's at
Just his foot-prints on the path
And his bloody hat...

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
The last mystery of Detective Guy French.
Editing stage: 

Comments

What number are you? I think we had Stan skip you and he's twenty five. We now have a twenty six. Will yours fit twenty seven or do you need a little rewrite to squeeze in or do we need to renumber Stan's. Sorry to jump ahead. We hadn't heard from you and I was afraid you'd found yourself to busy.
Unfortunately Guy is dead (read my last one... I forget the number... I think it's nineteen). Mog possessed Anabel and killed Guy then Fitzroy. Then he possessed Urilla and killed Anabel (we are heading toward a climax after all). Please have a look at the Main Thread and tell me what you want to do.
If you have questions about the plot, ask Ian. Somehow he's been able to keep track of everything and more.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
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If you put Gees write in as 18A it will fit in with the story as at the end, the forlorn French walks away through the park and ends up dead in 19 so the story goes lol.
Have a quick look, I can't see where else it can go.
French is killed by the Mog infested woman in Part 19.
Take care it is a great undertaking I shall read up on the whole thing tomorrow.
Loved is putting his five pence worth in very soon so then you can summarise.
Have the detectives arrest Creel as by the time they get there and blame him for all the crimes, Mog will be sailing for the States.
What a twisted thread we weave, I can see Mog turning up there to do some more killings as that is his way, maybe he will take over Loved lol.
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Unfortunately, I killed you, LOL. This workshop has been a lot of fun. I like the change in profile picture. Bike looks great!!!!

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Richard Dean, is the last time we will hear of MOG here.
Mog in the guise of Creel, killed Mackwill in Creels hotel and left the country.
Now Creel will be blamed for any murder that has occurred as he was possessed by Mog, until he left to go to America.
Gee in his badness brought the Mog to life, I gave him a history from way back till his departure, he is so evil and a product of mystery only dug up in the 1860's.
Now the police will find Mackwill's body at Creels hotel if anyone is left.
If the York to London coach comes in and Mackwill's wife gets off and asks where her husband is, the Police are going to look silly again.
Mind you there are a few bodies that are around that Mog dispatched that have little bearing on the story but are just some people passing through LOL..
Anyway I will let you all finish the story as you can ????
Loved the confusion, I love you all, Yours Sparrow xxx

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

is likely the daily state of a policeman lol. Adding to the confusion is the fact that Mog was/is not responsible for All the killings.

I will take your suggestion and enter it as 18A. You seem to have mastered this storyline better than all of us, so I'm going to ask you a favor in a PM.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

Anabel isn't around to take some more heads...waiting patiently to write her epilogue...from the mind of a dead, serial killer

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

No one saw or knew that Creel was around and killing or making others kill for him, and as he belonged to Mog his movement from one to the other was quite smooth.
I will now write the whole thing up if I can so that you all can do the prologues, this will be done in the morning,
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

all fine with making my entry as 18-a. I guess I got lost. This has been lots of fun and I hope that we can do it again. if you need me to do another piece just let me know. Thanks Ian, you have been great through this whole thing. Wes, I hope this has turned out to as fun and a good thing as you have expected. I would gladly take part in another anytime. Sorry that I didn't keep up as well as I should have. ~ Gee

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author comment

One would almost think Killer was seen in your poem here if not for the different era. If one ignores reference to Mog this poem could stand very well alone..........stan

Thank you, it has been hard to follow as some people were wiped out and stories had to be reorganised, I hope the end product makes sense now,
I hope the story of Mog was OK for you.
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

but to be honest I had no expectations. This was from the beginning an experiment with too many factors to possibly work. How it was that everyone had such a roaring good time boggles the mind, but pleases me. If I were to try it again it won't be for a long time and not until I have created a slew of new rules to make it more restrictive and boring. Maybe with an outline or a storyboard (as I threatened at first, but failed to produce). A story mostly told just needing to be fleshed out might be a little less chaotic.
Or maybe I'll create a fantasy, adventure world with sword fights, mad kings, dragons, noble knights and beautiful princesses... wait... that's my big poem. No, they can't mess with that.
Space opera?
Vampire Tales? (Carrie would go for that one).
Anyway, no time soon. I'm thrashed. I need to head to the Shark Pool to relax.
Maybe write a sonnet there.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

One of the main things a workshop is supposed to do is make people spend more time thinking about what they are writing so in this your shop is a roaring success because I'm pretty sure everybody put more thought into these poems than they usually do if for no other reason than to attempt to make sure everything tied together.

As to a future shop of this type you could decrease chaos and still allow freedom by posting the beginning And the end of the poem. That way all would be working toward a common goal

that is a brilliant idea. I would like to see a shop like this in the near future. Perhaps we could all take turns running it with a bit of guidance from the experts and take a turn with ideas. This has definitely, for me, been the most productive workshop and the one I learned the most. It was a lot of fun and definitely made me think. Now I am thinking of my epilogue. Wesley, a vampire tale would be amazing but I am game for fantasy as well. Anything I get to use my imagination and create characters. Creating characters for these stories and poems I write are often therapeutic as I get to step out of my own skin and be someone else for a while. I think that is why I enjoyed Anabel so much and was glad that the participants of the group made her such an instrumental character. Thanks to all!!

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

if you wanna go for vampire tales I think Carrie and me would like to be the vampires.lol. Even werewolves, are fine.

Alid

just submit a workshop proposal.
I'll be glad to make suggestions, but I doubt I'll try to run something like this until the blisters heal. The doctors say I should be of the valium in two or three months (that's if I'm willing).

Now more seriously, if someone were to try this again (not soon) then try a storyboard. An outline of the story from beginning to end. Story changes throughout the actual writing process would be slight if at all. The point would be the poetry.

Rula and I (in that order) will be running a workshop on the sonnet (two types only) in the Shark Pool in several weeks.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

by far a better story teller than poet but circumstances at home will keep me from attempting to run my own workshop for a bit. I will wait until I can dedicate the proper time to it.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

that I got a chance to join this workshop! It has been some time since I put this much effort into my work.
I like the idea of doing the storyboard kind of thing. Maybe each of us could write a poem about the same story with a different character? I will consider this idea some more before I expand on it. After all the car-shows are done and the bike is put up for the winter, I will do a workshop myself. Anyways, this was a lot of fun even though it confused the hell out of me at the end! Great time! ~ Gee

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author comment

So you want to run a workshop do you? You've come to the right place. What's your idea my good man. Some of the best are taken, but I have every confidence you can out do each and every one of them. Stan will be running a shop on the right word again (he'll likely hurt me for announcing it, but I liked the last one and he has some ideas that are new for this one).
When Jess feels up to it he will hold a shop on the limerick. Not the baudy sort, but the actual form as poetry. I can't wait.
Then Rula and I will be risking a workshop on the sonnet to be held in the placid waters of the Shark Pool.
Chrys (my newest mentor... welcome Chrys. Those looking for guidance give her a call) wants to discuss a shop on putting humor into poetry. An original as far as workshops go.
There is still room. I don't want to slow the ideas down for a moment.
What do you have in mind?

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

calm down at home, I will be wiling to run some type of haunted workshop. Perhaps Vampire tales or something of that nature...just need to see what type of technique to implement for a learning process.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Can we set a rough date to write a collaborated piece about the showdown between hunters and your criminal group like we planned as well? I don't want this idea to remain just an idea.

Alid

We can set a tentative date. I have a lot going on at home right now but will do my best to accommodate. This will be fun. I am looking forward to working with you once again. Would you prefer to see Nevermore or Anabel? Anabel seems to be rather popular but I will let you decide which one of my killers you would like to see.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

I don't, but I'll bet Jess does if you haven't figured it out yet. You're going to write something together? That's exciting.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

Alid had a great idea to do something with the killers of Neopoet. I now have 2 on here, Anabel and Nevermore. I will let him choose which one he wants me to feature. I like Nevermore as part of a multiple personality case. so I may be able to do something with that character with Nevermore being dominant. This is fun and a good release for me.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

I'm thinking Nevermore will be a better choice because of the time period. Anabel is a character in the old London while Nevermore is more up to date and fit in better with Digit and Killer.

Alid

I wanted all four of us , Ian, Carrie, Geezer and me to write a collaborated poem on a showdown between their group of killers (Digit, Nevermore annd Killer) and my hunters (Dr Chaz, Grace, Irene Gray and Yahya Sulong). Now that I think about it, we really need to find out how we can work together. Perhaps one of us can post the poem after we send our piece to thru PM or something. I'll follow your advice and ask Jess.

Alid

One of you is the official editor and opens a poem thread in the Stream. Than as pieces are written, that one editor edit's the poem on the Stream to include the new piece. It can only be the one editor as no one can edit someone else's thread, so it would be his/hers alone. Does that make sense?

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

yes it does, Wes

This is just a suggestion, but I would be remiss if I didn't adverti.... um, mention the main workshop of Storytelling in Verse (Sempiternal). If you ran your poem like a workshop (just you four) you could use the workshop thread. It's already there to use and it has a lot of sleeping trolls who, when awakened by your presence, will jump at the chance to offer ongoing critique (and that's what we're all about, isn't it?).
Consider it. The Workshop is at your disposal and we would love to have you... if only to watch.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

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