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Free

We are privileged humans,
The United States grants us freedom.
All of us as citizens
Have the same opportunity to bloom.

But are we really free?
We have freedom that is granted to us from the law
But how many of our thoughts are enslaved by moors?
Are we oblivious to the white America that we live under?

Yes, we are more privileged than other nations,
And for that I am grateful.
But, there is a huge space
For improvement.
“To form a more perfect union”.

We are being stripped away from experiences,
There is value in being in someone’s presence.
In going up to them, and building a relationship.
The way we converse in our generation
Is just a click away.

All of our generation relying on the internet
To do their work for them.
Believing in misconceptions
provided mainly in
“Social media”.

Social media.
More like,
“this is making us unsocial media”.
Building Stigmas And stereotypes
Faster than ever before.

Let’s free ourselves
To all the extend of the word.
Think for yourself,
Judge for yourself,
Listen to yourself,
Be Yourself.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

but think that this would have been more interesting if it were done in some rhythmic pattern or rhyme or something. As it stands, it is just the thoughts that many have expressed in better circumstances. I can think of a couple in particular, which are: Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream."
Or the Constitution of The United States. I guess that maybe, if you had stayed with the main thought of what started this poem, you would have connected with the reader better. I do agree that Social Media and the internet has degraded the abilities of this generation to communicate and interact with others, but feel that it would have been better to let that particular idea be expressed in a different work. I see that there is plenty of potential in both thoughts and hope that you do something with both of them, especially the latter idea of Social Interaction. Good luck, ~ Geezer.
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I aprecciate that you took your time to read it! the main theme of the poem was kind of a wake up call mainly to the millennial generation to tell them to wake up. not to be controlled From one source of information, to question things, and to not give up our ability to judge someone, to love someone, to feel. I know that the idea of the poem was not original, but what is these days? thank you for the criticism, I did feel like there was a disconnection between the first half and the second half when I read it again. I will work on that!

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