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Fragile Connections
Fragile Connections
by: Caitlin Mattison
Moon, Stars, and planets awaken to the night
Patiently their light's awaited...
The watcher in me rewarded
By this heavenly display beyond
The sight of soft tingling fire in the skies
Meanwhile, back on Earth...
~*~
His truth was night lights in the harbor moorings
The mind's picture of a moment standing
Though the sea casts a glistening
Glimpse of desire to ebb tide
Light chimes on boats coming and going
where mirror blades hide in high tide
While safe on shore...
~*~
Steady amidst the licking flames
Of the flickering campfire
Embers in a bed of hot glowing coals
There's a time to tally the score
To rally and circle the wagons
Stir and replenish the fire once more
Watching smoke swirl towards the...
~*~
...Moon, Stars, and planets awaken(ing) to the night
Patiently their light's awaited...
The watcher in me rewarded
By this heavenly display beyond
The sight of soft tingling fire in the skies
Meanwhile, back on Earth...
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
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Region & Country
Northwestern Wisconsin USA
Favorite Poets
Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda and many more.
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Comments
lou
Sat, 2011-01-29 01:32
Cat
There's a gentle romance to this one, I feel the connection of fire , water and sky lovely
Love Lou
Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!
Candlewitch
Wed, 2011-02-02 10:45
Dear Lou,
Thank you for your lovely comment. I'm so glad the connection is evident.
love, Cat
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author commentCandlewitch
Wed, 2011-02-02 10:51
Dear Ian,
Thank you for your thoughts on this piece. You give the sweetest of compliments. I always enjoy reading what you have to say.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentCandlewitch
Wed, 2011-02-02 10:56
Dear Shirl,
It is so good to hear from you again. Thank you for pointing out to me that which you liked best, gentle Lady. Yes, the connection to us and all of nature is fragile, as is our time spent here on this earth.
love, Cat
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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentCandlewitch
Wed, 2011-02-02 10:59
Dear Rosi,
Thank you. I'm glad you found the beauty in this piece. I hope you are well. Give my best to Zak.
love, Cat
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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentziggy
Mon, 2011-01-31 18:14
hi cat
great imagery dear poetess with lines like these
"His truth was night lights in the harbor moorings
The mind's picture of a moment standing
Though the sea casts a glistening
Glimpse of desire to ebb tide"
and this "Steady amidst the licking flames
Of the flickering campfire
Embers in a bed of hot glowing coals
There's a time to tally the score
To rally and circle the wagons
Stir and replenish the fire once more"
your a pleasure to read cat ..............zigs
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
Candlewitch
Wed, 2011-02-02 11:03
Hello, Brother Ziggy!
Thank you so much for your comment and picking out your favorite parts of this piece. Your comments are always a joy to read. How is your winter passing? I hope you are warm and snug.
Love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentziggy
Wed, 2011-02-02 13:03
well sis
I'm back for another peek at your words
I do miss the old catalogue of poems
from here, a read of a fav was always
good for theme searching,but then again I
have the book of Styx, the weather is blowing up a
bit here and I have stone work to get on with,
keep well cat ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs x
I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.
Candlewitch
Thu, 2011-02-03 10:19
Dear Ziggy,
We are having a real bad Winter here. Loads of snow. When it isn't snowing it is so cold it freezes your nose right off! I'm hoping for an early spring, but I don't think we will get it. Steve says to tell you "hello" from him.
Love, Cat
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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentKailashana2
Mon, 2011-01-31 18:21
did you notice the end lines
did you notice the end lines in each 3 stanzas makes for a darned good haiku?
meanwhile, back on earth
while safe on shore, replenish
stir the fire once more
Smile,
Anna
Candlewitch
Wed, 2011-02-02 11:07
Dear Anna,
No I hadn't noticed that I made a haiku with those ending lines! You are clever and sharp as a tack! Thanks for pointing that out to me. What an eye you have. Thank you!
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentHooded Stranger
Thu, 2011-02-03 12:36
Cat
Cat,
great title...but the title didn't prepare me for the three connections of such power. This isn't like your normal writes, and I loved the three elements approach...I must try this for a song sometime.
Each stanza stands out and each beautifully creates vivid images.
Just a thought:
could you have made the very last line of stanza three a link back to the beginning of the first stanza...to make it an endless loop...or would that detract from it being 'fragile connections'?
regards,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
Candlewitch
Fri, 2011-02-04 09:23
Dear Dan,
That is an interesting idea, but I have no idea of how to do a link. Good luck with the song idea, let me know when you write it as I would love to read it. Thanks always for your suggestions!
love, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentHooded Stranger
Fri, 2011-02-04 16:21
Cat
Cat,
I wasn't thinking of anything difficult with the link back to the first stanza, try this for an example:
Steady amidst the licking flames
Of the flickering campfire
Embers in a bed of hot glowing coals
There's a time to tally the score
To rally and circle the wagons
Stir and replenish the fire once more
Watching smoke swirl towards the...
...Moon, Stars, and planets awaken(ing) to the night
Patiently their light's awaited...
The watcher in me rewarded
By this heavenly display beyond
The sight of soft tingling fire in the skies
Meanwhile, back on Earth...
I will try the three elements idea, however, Lou & I each week set each other a challenge to write about something...she has me trying to write a rap!...so watch out for the Hooded Gangsta!
regards,
HS
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.
scribbler
Sat, 2011-02-12 22:14
late as usual
Fantastic imagery aside, what intrigues me is the feeling of being caught in a replaying loop. Almost like in the movie "Groundhog Day". a very unique work..................stan