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The Fox Ledge

Submitted by Rosewood Apothecary on Sat, 2022-07-02 07:31

If you find me in your dreams
Would I reside in oaken grove
A chasm between silver skin
And green umbrella up above

The trail to which is lined in birch
Not paperbarks but tall and black
The smell of root beer on the air
From shoots I chew whilst on my back

Interspersed, are maple trunks
Tall and slender, growing fast
pine, witch hazel, aspen too
Peppered through with sassafras

Along their roots at knee height grows
Blueberry thicket all around
Which sinks it’s fingers firmly through
A mossy carpet covered ground

Upon it grows the wintergreen
A million peering bright red eyes
Adorn their tiny parasols
Beneath the oaks that brush the sky

Now a fox is on the ledge
Wherever are her den and kits?
She’s clever, we may never know
Majestic in the way she sits

A morning sunbeam through the trees
Irradiates her coat of bronze
And stokes her fiercely into flames
Compelling her to scamper on

There I sit in midst of all
And now your dream has come to end
Accept my invitation please
To dream about me once again

Style / type:

Structured: Western

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of my title?

Is the internal logic consistent?

Last few words:

Fox Ledge is the name of our property and my recording studio and this poem is an ode to our Fox family which we cohabitate the lot with.

Editing stage:

Editing - polished draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Sat, 2022-07-02 08:49

I'll be back...

Can't pass this one up and need to have a clear head. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Geezer

Sat, 2022-07-02 19:33

your vision. You have intimate knowledge of the wood, much as a couple of others here writing about the Earth and its'
marvels. You describe your lot and the vixen so perfectly, that I am almost there, lying beside you looking up at the clouds within a frame of towering Oak! Amazing write! ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

RoseBlack

Sun, 2022-07-03 05:36

Great write

Excellent flow and visual. There is a calming and peaceful element to this poem making the reader feel as if they are the ones sitting quietly watching the fox and soaking in all this little area of paradise has to offer. Good job.

~RoseBlack~

Rosewood Apothecary

Sun, 2022-07-03 05:50

Gratitude

Thanks everyone. Super fun one to write. I’ve had the idea for a week or two. I’m pretty happy with it and I’m glad you enjoyed it.

Tim

author comment

Candlewitch

Sun, 2022-07-03 05:55

dear Tim,

I'm sitting here in my easy chair it is a quarter to five a.m. listening to Jackson Browne's "the Load Out" and reading your elegant poem. I love your well thought out poem! the title is great (I hate thinking up titles, lol) I love your rhyming sequences...perfectly timed. not a forced rhyme in the bunch. that makes it exceptional, in my book! thanks for sharing this piece with us. my favorite lines are:

The trail to which is lined in birch
Not paperbarks but tall and black
The smell of root beer on the air
From shoots I chew whilst on my back

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Rosewood Apothecary

Sun, 2022-07-03 08:50

That’s a good song!

Christ you’ve got me in good company. Feeling very validated and proud after reading your comment.

Thanks for the care and support,
Tim

author comment

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The Fox Ledge