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FORLORN WINTER
FORLORN WINTER
Diagonal white stripes
pastelled hills,
may flowers danced for joy,
but that was yesterday.
Now northern winds stir flags
and blossom single, now has double blooms;
the birds sail past, no flap of wings
just glide on currents cold.
From northern hills comes winter,
sprightly as before, she knocks
so softly on our door,
she will come home again.
Her wilting gown now blown
in dots of white, is flocking hopefully
as lambs are born. She's so forlorn,
when, spirits raised by warmer sun
declare the next of seasons
just begun, and colour fills the meadows,
decks the trees, swells all the streams
with dancing waters.
Autumns leaves, disturbed, they float
away like dreams along the flow,
they join the memory of the snow,
disintegrate, and have to go.
Style / type:
Free verse
Last few words:
It snowed yesterday, diagonal stripes of white across the view, surprise when we have had heat several days.
Editing stage:
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Comments
Linda Moses
Sun, 2012-05-06 20:03
Ann
good visuals, nice write
I know that we are not liking capitals as the beginning of each sentence if the sentence is a continuation of the one before it, but in the case of first stanza, 3rd line, May should be capitalized as it is a proper noun, and would be capitalized no matter where it fit in the sentence.
sincerely, Linda
He who conquers self , has won a great battle
Cloudthings
Sun, 2012-05-06 21:33
just drifted about me like a lovely vision
Lovely Annushka, I don't think I'd want a single word changed here... it just drifted about me like a lovely vision... You are so good at painting the scene in word form.... Just delightful!
I wanted to pick a stanza to say it was special... they all are!
I choose these 2, because they are so lovely together xxx
Her wilting gown now blown
in dots of white, is flocking hopefully
as lambs are born. She's so forlorn,
when, spirits raised by warmer sun
declare the next of seasons
just begun, and colour fills the meadows,
decks the trees, swells all the streams
with dancing waters.
Anni
Cheers
Anni
My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"
Nordic cloud
Mon, 2012-05-07 09:46
'Tis cos you can dance with me Anni
'Tis cos you do dance with me, my words,
you hear the songs of nature,
you are sensitive to the ways of the winds like me,
that you can enjoy my poem, thank you, thank you Anni.
Annushka, swamped in the air of Spring flowers,
there are wood sorrel flowering on the veranda,
how privileged we are. :)
I leave mayflowers without the capital for now and see what others think Linda.
The maypole is that the same thing? Thank you too.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
author commentCandlewitch
Mon, 2012-05-07 12:04
Dear Ann,
I loved this enchanted nature write! Your imagery sparks feelings and memories. I usesd to be a summer person in my youth. As I aged I turned to Autumn's colors and ominous portents. Now I am comfortable with my easy chair in front of a cheery fire. As I watch the snowflakes swirl and listen to the winds howl. I am content to be inside. (A mug of hot chocolate, is nice, too, at such a time.) My favorite lines of your poem are:
Autumns leaves, disturbed, they float
away like dreams along the flow,
they join the memory of the snow,
disintegrate, and have to go.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Nordic cloud
Mon, 2012-05-07 13:03
Thank you Cat, yes the
Thank you Cat, yes the contrast of sitting indoors by the fire
and the wind or snow blizzards outside is comforting.
Like being inside the tent in a sleeping bag cosily,
while the rain patters on the fly sheet,
that too is one of my favourite thoughts,
out in the wilds where the wind is fresh and free
and yet in the warm.
As aye Ann.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
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