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Into The Forest

Submitted by lovedly on Sun, 2019-09-15 21:38

The distant echoes
into the Forest
I move in alone
how far I shall go
that’s yet unknown
but deep enough to gain my right
and
still not remain out of human sight

but then the forest is far too deep
how much will the darkness sweep
my mind will be a vast lonely desert
with none to converse
the darkness is now most intense
how will I observe

am I still moving into darker ravines

no my voice tells me
the other half of the forest
is like a path into awakening
as from the middle
of the density
I shall be like lightening
entering into the sun’s rising streaks
so out of the forest now I meekly
seek

light re-emerges and makes me wise
the darkness by now subsides
I am out in the open
for all to perceive
from the darkness
emerges a newer soul
and
now is about time
to reach my final goal

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

themoonman

Sun, 2019-09-15 22:07

themoonman's picture
Volunteer badge

That was refreshing ... stop using
"tis", it is the wrong century and
every time I see it you appear desperate.

good poem

lovedly

Mon, 2019-09-16 11:25

lovedly's picture

noticed and slashed it 23rd century

author comment

chima ononogbu

Mon, 2019-09-16 08:09

chima ononogbu's picture

The flow is beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

Bathe yourself with poetry and let the world go to pieces.

lovedly

Mon, 2019-09-16 16:28

lovedly's picture

I can see the sincerity
deep from within

author comment

lovedly

Tue, 2019-09-17 16:33

lovedly's picture

many said it was or rather is good

author comment

Rottiestyl

Tue, 2019-10-15 01:14

Rottiestyl's picture

I really iked this. I had to read it three times to get the full flow. Not a problem on your end. I tend to read with my own cadence after writing for too long. Then reading others writing.
Below are the best parts of this poem for me.

am I still moving into darker ravines - Great wording here. a very vivid image.

no my voice tells me - This entire stanza tells the story. Alive, seeking, hunting, craving the
the other half of the forest way to understand. Finds his/her strength like lightening, but
is like a path into awakening still not to sure if that strength will last. Loved it.
as from the middle
of the density
I shall be like lightening
entering into the sun’s rising streaks
so out of the forest now I meekly
seek

Rottie
Pegasus was a genius,
living within a suit of difference.
He liked what he was,
nodded in respect and
simply flew . . . away.

By: K. Mulroney

" I am who I am, say what I say, do what I do. With no apology."

lovedly

Tue, 2019-10-15 12:10

lovedly's picture

as one enters a forest
first half one is entering
second half one is leaving it Isn't it so
that's what I know

author comment

Rottiestyl

Tue, 2019-10-15 18:08

Rottiestyl's picture

my review was particularly about the " leaving the forest" That one great stanza made me feel good about it.

Great job again.

Rottie
Pegasus was a genius,
living within a suit of difference.
He liked what he was,
nodded in respect and
simply flew . . . away.

By: K. Mulroney

" I am who I am, say what I say, do what I do. With no apology."

Sparrow 42

Tue, 2019-10-15 19:05

Great write and you should be pleased how this one resonates with most readers.
Keep up the good work and as you practice the contest prize could be yours .
Take care and know I joke sometimes lol,
Yours Ian ..

Words can build a nation

lovedly

Tue, 2019-10-15 22:17

lovedly's picture

the contest prize could be
ONLY YOURS
IAN
Take care and know
I KNOW YOU joke MOST OF THE times
RFLOL

I AM REPLACING AUTUMN'S POEMS WITH THE SADNESS ONE

SUDDENLY LIFE ONE
did u not scan it Pl do Ian

author comment
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