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fools in a paradise
We all live
in a fool's paradise
believe me
It is only a mental surmise
so rise
to the occurrence of today
tomorrow may come
It may not...
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
judyanne
Sat, 2015-04-11 01:35
culled
The first part repeats the thought - we live in a fools paradise/there is no paradise....(waffle)
and imo, it needs stanza breaks
we all live
in a fool's paradise
believe me
It is only a mental surmise
so rise
to the occurrence of today
tomorrow may come
It may not...
Totally imo only, remember
love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)