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Fool's Paradise

I am not a poet
just fool around with bits
from my Do-it-Yourself kit
going hammer and tongs
in a fit of fantasy
driving me nuts
till a clap of thunder
bolts through the labyrinths
of grey folds and glitches
screwing up
what I'd thought to be a creation
now clouded in the smoke of absurdity
till I rise from the ashes
like Sphinx
back to my muse
in fool's paradise

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
There is an underlying attempt to use words (nuts, bolts, screw, hammer) which usually are part of a do-it-yourself kit which is also to identify myself as an amateur pursuing my efforts to improvise my craft of writing
Editing stage: 


only add an 's ' to DIY kits


from your style as I remember it. I respect the seeming effortless blend of whimsicality with angst, cleverly achieved. I do feel pain here.

The absurdity of the Sphinx rather than the Phoenix arising from the ashes makes it all the more effective.

A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'

Thank you Jess for your time and encouraging comment. Coming from seasoned and knowledgeable poets like you it mean a lot to me...

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

I have to agree with Jess this feels very different to what you have posted in the past but I really loved its a brilliant read, I will go back through your recent posts tomorrow and catch up but I have to say this is some really good poetry I look forward to reading the rest I noticed there are quite a few I haven't read as yet

hope you and yours had a lovely holiday

love JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

so nice of you to spend time for a read...yes this attempt is sort of out of my normal style...but that was really the purpose "to move out of the comfort zone" ...from your comment it appears I achieved that...take good is the other Aussie doing..haven't seen her post..hope she is fine...neither I have seen anything posted by Cat...:Candlewitch"

raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment
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