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Follow Me random challenge #14 :by eddy styx

Follow Me (by: eddy styx)

"follow me" I whisper
as I take her hand,
down to the fen
where snakes and gators
find a wet murky home.
"I'll keep you safe
for I'm familiar with the track
where the marsh grass grows
thick and high and black."
we will slowly make a new path
to the very heart of the bog
rising up to meet us,
a thin misty fog
and the moon is blotted out
by rising blueish vapor.
watch it swirl all around us
you shiver as a chill overcomes you.
distracted by your whereabouts
I slowly back away from you
soon you are alone in the marsh
it swallows you leaving you
utterly and completely
alone and on your own,
as I wait in silence...

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
eddy styx is my MALE alter ego who writes dark poetry.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

a continuation here? I certainly hope so! It would be so unlike eddy not to show his "love". Going well,
~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I shall certainly think on it ;)

ever, eddy

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author comment

i would like to see where the poem takes you if developed!

intriguing piece!

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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I wrote (Follow Me pt.#2 by eddy styx) it is somewhere in the list...or you could search for it. thank you for reading, commenting and the interest.

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
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