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Follow Me random challenge #14 :by eddy styx

Follow Me (by: eddy styx)

"follow me" I whisper
as I take her hand,
down to the fen
where snakes and gators
find a wet murky home.
"I'll keep you safe
for I'm familiar with the track
where the marsh grass grows
thick and high and black."
we will slowly make a new path
to the very heart of the bog
rising up to meet us,
a thin misty fog
and the moon is blotted out
by rising blueish vapor.
watch it swirl all around us
you shiver as a chill overcomes you.
distracted by your whereabouts
I slowly back away from you
soon you are alone in the marsh
it swallows you leaving you
utterly and completely
alone and on your own,
as I wait in silence...

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
eddy styx is my MALE alter ego who writes dark poetry.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

a continuation here? I certainly hope so! It would be so unlike eddy not to show his "love". Going well,
~ Geez.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

I shall certainly think on it ;)

ever, eddy

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author comment

i would like to see where the poem takes you if developed!

intriguing piece!

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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I wrote (Follow Me pt.#2 by eddy styx) it is somewhere in the list...or you could search for it. thank you for reading, commenting and the interest.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

author comment
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