Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Follow me

Throw my body on the line
With a red beating mass alongside the soul.
Getting so high off of nothing.
Reaching the top of the world
And being right where I started.
Life stands still in a moment in time-
Forever the same
No matter how much I rage.
I reached my hand out
At one singular point.
Begging to be pulled in from the tide.
Follow me, I called with my eyes,
But my steel masked face
Fooled the best
So now I sit in myself
Waiting, not daring to dream.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


like a moment of despair. I get the feeling that your [red, beating mass] is not a real beating, but a feeling that you are nothing but a piece of meat, a body that has no power. I think that many of us have felt like this, but don't have the words to express it.
I do think that maybe you can try to keep the work in the same mode of time, rather than jumping back and forth. I'm not sure of how to help you with this one. ~ Geezer.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Thank you for the feedback! Much appreciated

"To fly is to fall."

author comment
(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.