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Fly away, little birdie!


I’m on the beach, ready to take flight, but all I can do is waddle.
“Fly away, little birdie!”, I hear some kid say.
Just yesterday I was brought back to Earth as a birdie; the flying’s gonna take time; so they say.
I can’t even fly over to my mom on the sand bar; I’d only have to go so far!
As a human, I’d dreamt of being able to fly,
I’d have total range of the sky!
Flying up to see my girl in Heaven, there was no question.
That was all I wanted, girl, we would’ve bonded.
That big open blue right in front of me; oh, it just seemed so free!
And now it feels I’ll never be able to; oh, am I blue!
But I know things will be alright; yeah; they’ll be alright.
Obviously this poem is a metaphor; when we feel down, we wanna fly away.
Pretend like everything’s okay.
So, next time you’re depressed; and are a mess,
Imagine you’re a bird, needing to soar through the sky.
And know you can do anything your heart desires; even when you feel on fire.
Fly away, little birdie!
Fly away.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
Even though I did put a direction this time of the critique I would like, please feel free to say anything. Both the poems I have posted prev. to this, plus this one, I'm putting in my first poetry book I'm gonna publish. The theme will be mental health.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


Hi Teddy,
I appreciate your help, it means a lot. I'm gonna keep my original ending as is, I did it that way for emphasis. Just one question so I can make my poems even better...did you separate the being brought back to Earth as a birdie because you felt it was a run-on sentence? I thought it made more sense the other way, as my future readers might wonder, "brought back to Earth as what?" but maybe you're seeing something I'm not. I'll take whatever you say into consideration. Oh, Sandi's my girl that killed herself, thus, made me become a writer in her own way.

JazzyGurl Emilee A.

author comment

Appreciate it, Teddy, I'm humbled.

JazzyGurl Emilee A.

author comment
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