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Flowing Silk (primal poetry - second session)

The beat, The beat
Relaxation slowly occurring
Thoughts and memories float
It’s not what I desire
They come and go
Awareness
The beat is reverberating
The body becomes the beat
Suddenly gone
Then reoccurs
Drifting in and out
Spider webs
Looking at blue and red
In and out
Big smile
He must be the egg-man
Little man
In his kitchen filled with
Little things
Suddenly gone
Drifting in and out
Star struck universe
Relaxation
The beat
Feeling the beat
This time of mine
Does not last
Long enough

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Seems like not a lot to it but in fact it lasted more than a half hour.
Editing stage: 
Workshop: 

Comments

I'm not in the workshop, but just came to visit after your comment. My impression here is of pensive, almost meditation, & the flavours of conceptual passers-by we might encounter... (or that you encountered) in that state. I enjoyed it's gentle mind banter feel.

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

!

Cheers
Anni

My dear friend always told me "Water the seeds of joy first"

Thank you Anni,

~Mark~

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author comment

Is different. It gives us such a good look inside ourselves. The fun part is interpreting the visions afterward.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Hi Carrie, and I did think on it after writing. At first I thought the song by the Beatles. I am the walrus I am the egg man lol. Then in regards to the little smiling eggman in the kitchen I recalled that as I laid back to relax how hungry I felt. So, I don't know, but the vision was surely there. It came and went rather quickly though. I wonder if you drop out below the drumming meaning at times you no longer hear it. That happened several times for a few moments each time (perhaps I was falling asleep).
Thanks for your reading and comment,

~Mark~

Free membership is a great deal but if you wish for the best deal look here:
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author comment

this raw, uninterpreted or modified first impressions are what we are looking for at this stage.
Even the lines-
"Relaxation slowly occurring
Thoughts and memories float
It’s not what I desire
They come and go"
may be superfluous.

Onya mate. I should not be surprised that a fellow Beat poet grasped the concept of this workshop so quickly.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

I can tell you certainly got the idea of this workshop. It was very well done and I think this is your second one . That's marvelous.

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