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flowers alight on birds wings
the lake is made of dino piss,
but shines like hot asphault on a summer's day.
Diptera dip thier toes as water spiders speed, then slow,
then stand still. as if suddenly they have become very aware
of the water molecules evaporating around them;
ascending to the heavens.
everything is in flux.
the wind blows cherry blossoms that speak in soft whispers.
two swans watch a procession of figgures dressed in black and
a moment later ash begins to cloud the lake.
a swan draws its head up from drinking.
handfuls of ash turn to clouds that approach the birds
as if a heavy fog were rising towards a harbor
occupied by two white ships
many souls have passed into this water
many souls have passed this water
rose petals are torn off of green stalks and thrown into the fog
her husband stands upon a rock outcropping, and cries softly
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Mon, 2022-03-28 10:34
In trying...
to gain a sense of the mind-set
you wrote this in, I have come to the conclusion
that the scene you have described, is part dream,
part analogy of what you are feeling about your situation.
Not meaning to be intrusive, I ask, are you married?
If you are, this would give more insight to the last line
and the poem in general.
As the German soldier on Laugh-In would say; "Very interesting" work.
A couple of errors in spelling: asphalt and figures. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
large marge
Mon, 2022-03-28 12:19
yes definately. its part
yes definately. its part dream part story. but the man at the end was my great uncle. and we threw her ashes into the potomac. it was a long time ago
author commentGeezer
Mon, 2022-03-28 14:55
I see...
It must have made a great impression on you, to have lasted this long. Was he someone you had a tight relationship with?
I have memories of one of my uncles from when I was around 5-6 years old years old. He made my mother laugh and she was really happy while he stayed with us for a little bit. Funny how some people or things stay with us for a long time and have a lasting effect on us. Great story and I hope that you continue to write these things that have such effects on you. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.