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Florence [Sunku]

her eyes
are whelming
with stormy surge

choking
for contempt
loathed upon her

crying
"my name means
beautiful girl"

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

A profilic poet you are, aren't you :)
I'm not quite sure I'm getting this one. Reading between the lines and trying to connect to the title, i thought you are talking about Florence the city, butwhen I googled I didn't find the meaning of the name. Is the girl named after the city?
I would appreciate a hint here.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

This is with reference to the fearsome hurricane Florence looming large over East Coast of USA ...

I often wonder why these hurricanes mostly have name of women...Irene,,,Maria,...Katrina..to name a few...does it mean women have such a dark side? :)
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raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

not v.much justified though in my opinion. Why giving them nanes in the first place I wonder.

Overwhelming, should be one word? And it's four syllables.
"enormous " Maybe work better?
Just a suggestion.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

thanks Rula for the catch about syllable count..i have fixed it...

giving names is I believe for identification purposes but beats me why names of persons...just imagine how would you feel if a hurricane is named Rula?
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raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

No way!
They better not do it

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

now you can understand how all girls / women named Florence must be feeling right now :)...that's the essence of this Sunku...
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raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment

very powerful. you make the sunku form work wonderfully. like haiku, but different.

for reading and your appreciative comment...
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raj (sublime_ocean)

author comment
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