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Final Thought

Final Thought

They don’t cry in their sleep,
no not a peep anymore, the
nappies will be dry, very dry
that’s for sure. The toys lie
silent, action man never acted
he was afraid. What flower do
we place at that place, how will
it feel for a fool full of grace?

And I heard this Jesus guy was
meant to love the little child,
could that murdering drawn out
sermon have been more wild.

Final thought,
did those children have a final thought.
Perhaps…… Mummy?

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
For the children murdered or allowed to die by their parents.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Very important theme. It hits many around the world.
I thought the discription in the first stanza is very impressive.

on the second however I thought " this jesus guy" is not very respectful, while we as poets should respect everyone whether we believe or not in them if this makes sense.

Finally, I'd put " final thought...." after a space to give a stronger effect

"final thought,
did those children have a final thought.
Perhaps…… Mummy?"

(only thoughts. It is yours so please discard my suggestions if you think they don't go with your intents.

Thanks for sharing.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Thank you, i was having a go at religion and the people who follow it. Our society is founded and guided by religion, yet it's always forgoten the poorest especially the children. And how can i respect that? But anyway i like your ideas for the end, and will alter the poem right now. Thanks again. Love Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

If as I believe, that each of us is responsible for our own actions, and have to answer to those, to whoever after this journey, then these things would become rarer in our Earth bound journey.
Maybe I hope too much, but that is another story, A good write from you I only wish that I could change these things,
Yours Sadly, Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

We should be responsible for each other, especially the children. There are to many stories like this, someone is not doing their job properly. Thank you for reading and commenting. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

This one went down to the pits of my stomach - especially the last line. How horrible and tragic to be betrayed and viloently ablused by someone who is ment to cheerish and protect. Sadly it happens all to often - young children have no voice and can't protect themselves - making it the worse crime.

Well done for highlighting this problem. ( we all need to pay heed ).

LOve Mand xxxxxx

Children all over the world are suffering and we're to busy jumping all over our social service workers. They must be allowed to do their job, better the childs away from the parents for a day or two than dead, Love Roscoe....

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment
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