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The Final Journey

So here I am,
a pallbearer
choked with emotions
as I accompany you,
my friend
one last time ,
on the final journey

Reminiscing the past
you and I,
so close together
sharing tears and laughter,
fighting with bullies
becoming heroes
for the girls

The rest of the gang
are also here,
offering their last
respects to you,
the friendship
that has withstood
the test of time...

A part of me feels sad
to lose a friend, so dear
another part of me,
felt relieved for you,
knowing your sufferings
have finally ended
and you are going
to a realm of peace

Under a leafless tree
we consign you
to Mother Earth
while we pray
for your soul,
that you'll find peace
in your new home

The heavens join us
in our song of sorrow
and I can't hold back the tears
as I hold your sister in my arms,
unable to find words
to soothe her heart
as I struggle with my own

Farewell, my friend
you and I
will never really
be apart
'cos you're always
in my heart.....

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


is the least to be said, especially the opening lines.
Very well done and not without some true emotions. I understand that this is about a dear friend so please accept my heartfelt condelences.

I see you've written in present so better to keep all in the same tense.
as I held (hold?) your sister in my arms,

one more tiny thing deserves your attention

"the friendship
that have(has) withstood"

It's always healthy to read something about death. It reminds us how trivial life is.
Really appreciate your words.
Thanks for sharing.


Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me

I couldn't agree more that with what Rula has said. It is indeed touching with some honest emotions shared in the quiet with the departed soul. I liked the beginning which reminisces about moments shared and ends with heartfelt sorrow. The imagery is food and created the mournful mood and the gathering at the burial ground. I would make a small change from "last" to "final" journey if you feel appropriate. Well done Alid and thank you for posting this one...


raj (sublime_ocean)

for the visit and the comments.You are right. I've lost my best friend yesterday. He has been struggling with leukemia for awhile now. The pain is still there. its like i have lost a part of myself but I always remember what he said," sadness, anger and pain are a a part of life, feel them, don't deny them but don't be dragged down by them..even the heaviest rain will come to pass" I really missed him...


author comment

Sorry to know that this poem was inspired by a real time recent event in your life of losing a dear friend and the pain and sadness are perceived in your write. It is touching to the core. I must thank you for sharing with us his words of wisdom "sadness, anger and pain are a part of life, feel them, don't deny them but don't be dragged down by them..even the heaviest rain will come to pass".

Though the loss is tremendous, perhaps you may find some peace in these lines by a legendary Indian Writer, Philosopher and Poet who has said "Death is not extinguishing the fire, it is merely putting off the lamp because dawn has arrived"..

Heartfelt condolences and prayers for your friend's departed soul to rest in eternal peace...

Warm regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

After a discussion with my religious teacher, I feel much more better. He reminded me that death in this world is only the end of the mortal flesh. the soul is immortal. it will be in another world where the rewards for faith and good deeds or punishment for sins will be attained. I know my friend well and I believed he will be happy in the other world. not only is he religious, he is a filial son to his parents, he is a good brother and a good friend who is always there when we are in need. He is the kind of person who thinks about others first before himself. so you see, I feel sad but I will be fine..thanks for your concern.


author comment

Reading this it reminds me of the fact that almost everyone around me is going to die before me. I mean my family that is. My mothers side has a tendency to have their children young. So young that I have known my great grandma my whole life and she is still going strong. At 80+ being so young and having family so young I haven't really had to deal with death all that often. I my first funeral almost two years ago for a girl who had commit suicide. She was a lesbian in a super Christian household and she took a handful of pills. I remember when I found out I was in the shower and my friends started banging on the bathroom door...I thought they were just screwing around then they told me and I was like bullshit. So I got out the shower and went running to a dear friend of mine who had loved her for years and everyone gathered to her. My girlfriend was at band camp and all of the important people from her life left the camp to come to her funeral. Its an experience I can recall every detail to...I'm sorry for your loss but it does get better. The difference is she had a choice. Disease doesn't often ask for permission does it? I have never been to the graveyard part of a service, as she was cremated but now I feel I might know what that's like. Thank you for the enlightenment

Unto Oblivion, We Depart

I know it gets better with time. In death , I find a reason to continue with my belief. Life is too short so why must we make it shorter by smoking , consuming harmful drugs and doing silly dangerous things? As for people's behaviours, gays, lesbians transvestites, theydid not see themselves as having a disease so they cannot understand why religion and some other so-called straight people cannot accept them. Sometimes they become like that due to an incident in their life. While we all have a choice in life not everyone can see them. Like you have said, different people, different perception. I don't believe the people who committed suicide really wanted to die its just that they feel cornered and so helpless and they are not in the right mind. When I was younger, I have encountered that feeling. You see I was always bullied at school back then and I remember going home with bruises. One day, I can't stand it anymore and and try to slit my wrist. A teacher and a friend stopped me. I went for counselling and with the help from God, my parents, my teachers and my friends I got better. Malice, sometimes we needed somebody to guide us 'cos we are not strong enough to face life on our own. I do my best not to judge people like the gays and lesbians. I don't agree with them but i try to respect them. In the end they are still humans too. I leave the judgement to God, I am a sinner, so I don't have the right to judge them.. saying that is easy my friend but when you try to do it you realize its not easy.

author comment

Maybe not personally but trust me I do. My first love and I were 17 when we fell for each other and on the surface this girl was a literally perfect to everyone around her including me. I have never thought of killing myself. And for the first year I was with her we were very happy. Summer came and being in highschool that meant summer vacation. She didn't tell me this but she thought she was going to move to Florida. She goes there every summer. She broke up with me in the belief she was never coming home as her family here was less then supportive. She did end up coming home. And I was still so in love with her we eventually got back together. She delved into a deep depression I didn't fully understand when school started back up. And I took care of her. When she cried I held her. When she lashed at me I endured and weathered her blows. I was afraid to go to sleep because she would call me in the middle of the night. I couldn't let one so important to me go without a fight. I visited her when she was in the psych ward for a week. Just me. I was the only one aloud to see her. She had made sure of that as she was 18. I drove 3 hours for and hour with her. She didn't know and I'll never forget the look on her face....I don't think I've ever felt so loved by a single look before. Eventually she recovered. She was happy again and that was the greatest thing in the world to me. I promised I wouldn't let her die. She asked me to promise...thats where Oathkeeper comes from. I kept my oath. And eventually her heart changed and she fell in love with someone else. I was left behind. I hear stories about her. She's still nearby. But I can't bear to see her because to me shell always be my girl. I'm not as sad as I could be because I know and shed admit she's only here because of me...I was a guardian and she was my angel.

Unto Oblivion, We Depart

My first poem I put on here was the one I wrote for her. "The Hero You Needed Me To Be"

Unto Oblivion, We Depart

thanks for sharing.


author comment

There was one part of the poem that impacted me emotionally:

and I can't hold back the tears
as I hold your sister in my arms,
unable to find words
to soothe her heart
as I struggle with my own

This was a concrete image I could see and, so, feel. Much of the poem (e.g., knowing your sufferings/ have finally ended/ and you are going/ to a realm of peace") says things that I have heard many, many times in regard to death and are intellectualized so they do not hit me, the reader, as hard as the death, I'm sure, hit you. I think more concrete images might help although it may be too raw for you now.

thank you for the visit the comments and the suggestion. I would like to invite you to read my "Serenity. Its another view on death. Tell me what you think.


author comment
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