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Field

In an empty field
I can hear the wind calling
I can see the sky looking at me
All alone, in peace
The soft grass touching my skin
The birds singing my troubles away
Animals walking towards me with glory in their eyes
The light bringing me hope
In an empty field
I was healed

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I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
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How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Not Explicit Content

Comments

just a day in the lap of 'Mother Nature' can be a healing. I'm not sure that the animals walking toward one with 'glory' in their eyes is what I would say. [It kind of makes me think of a horror film]. Maybe, [A fawn with beauty in her eyes] or something of the sort? ~ Geez.
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I feel similarly to Geezer about the glory in the eyes, although it did bring to mind how a cat might look after catching a field mouse. I would prefer it without the anthropomorphism (e.g., the sky looking at me) but I can't say I really think it should be changed, more of a preference.

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