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FEELING YOU
I look up at the stars, so high and see
Without a doubt, you’re looking back at me
Tears, like shooting stars, stream down my cheek
My neck so steeply stretched, I suddenly feel weak
I bow my head, drop to my knees in prayer
Thank the stars, you’re watching, from up there
I feel your hand, touch my heart, relieve my pain
As I taste you’re loving lips, kissing me again
In time I know, these feelings too, may disappear
But, I only wish, that I could be, with you my dear
BOEMS by JA 692
Editing stage:
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Comments
scribbler
Sun, 2017-11-12 13:55
Hi Ja Ja
I like the thought of a loved one still looking on after death from the starry sky. Only thing I's suggest is breaking this into either 2 or 4 line stanzas.........stan
Chiori
Mon, 2017-11-13 05:28
nice one
the poem is touching and full of sympathy
always remember to make a critique of other poems
using the hoe is not madness for nothing
Eumolpus
Mon, 2017-11-13 17:54
from the heart
I'm sure there are millions of us out there who have somebody "up there" we miss. LIfe has so much sorrow, but losing a loved one is top of the list.
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings