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A father of a son

Submitted by Trouble on Sat, 2020-01-25 19:34

A father of a son
Wonderful to see
A person that look just like me
On the day he was born
Where promises
I vowed to keep

Truth and honor
Are the only drugs
He will see

I am the father of a son
His teacher of a life complete
Sometimes I take for granted
The quiet conversations in things that he needs

Questions about life
Questions about dreams
I reply you are my son be all that you can be
When you become a father
Truth and honor
Will always give you peace

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Sun, 2020-01-26 12:24

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that disappoints me about this one, is that you didn't keep up the rhyme, but it is there, you just have to unbury it! ~ Gee.
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Trouble

Sun, 2020-01-26 16:54

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I'm trying gee thanks for the love this is only the second poem that I posted maybe I'm a little rusty but I enjoy the chat line with you and all the other members

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Geezer

Sun, 2020-01-26 12:23

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on this one, is that you haven't kept up the rhyme! It's there, but buried! I felt it wanting, trying to get out all the way through! ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

lovedly

Sun, 2020-01-26 12:29

lovedly's picture

person that lookS just...p

erhaps appears to be a typo

Trouble

Sun, 2020-01-26 17:00

Trouble's picture

Maybe lovedly about the typo but can I ask your name for a proper? Introduction.my name is Pressley and it's nice to meet you

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