Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Like father, Like son

Soon after the earthquake
We were left with a broken home
When my dad made the mistake
Of leaving us alone

From support failing by being torn apart
the ground trembled along with my heart
And from that day it has not been the same
And there's only one man to blame

My "Father", that person who promised the universe
And in return gave us this curse
Of always being under a cloud
He must be really proud

Hats off to you dad
But not out of respect
Just to show you what you had
And regardless of neglect

I became someone you will never be
And I'd be proud of me
"Like father like son"?
No, you're the only one

You have portrayed the perfect picture
as the enemy in a plot
And I am not
So once again hats off, and thanks a lot

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Last few words: 
I'm in the process of publishing my book and just wanted to get some feedback on some of my work! Thanks everyone!
Editing stage: 


Firstly welcome to Neopoet, and I hope that being with us will help your writing..
This is a sad piece, and well written, if from your life, then there are many things that happen inside people when the Earth shakes, and life as it was disappears.
As with soldiers in war situations the same post traumatic stress, can kill even the strongest of people's way of life.
After an Earthquake you will see people just walking around with no purpose, in these situations all you can do is help those that need help and try to understand those that suffer so, Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Thank you Ian! Yes this is from my life and I found that poetry is the only way I can express my feelings! Thank you for your feedback!

author comment

They are a two way street, they need your love and understanding as well as them giving their lives of love and understanding to their children.
Sometimes the world is turned upside down as yours was.
Then the strength that a Father has, breaks as a beautiful mirror on hitting the floor.
I hope that the breaks can be understood and repaired, you are talking about feelings not buildings. This is a hard task for anyone to undertake, you have plenty of time, Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.