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Father are you dere! Still....

Come any time
don't even cell me
I am ever ready
but when you are here
don't convey the
Freedom
you will enjoy
I promise it to you
O BOY!

Come along
but alone
quietly
don't let any one
follow thee
maintain my
secrecy
promise me...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

LOL. Freedom with Father or freedom from Father? Your Choice. I believe in freedom of information. Secrecy may be accidentally hacked. Thank you.

xxxxx

vivo

author comment

all thoughts are monitored
unless we show desire
and movement towards
this or that..
we are let free..
but remembered
monitored
catologued

Remember...during the french
revolution they burned tax offices
and then cut off all the heads
of those espouting greatness
free thinking and disregard
of fellow class...Guess that
means snobs
thinkers...

Micheal Jackson beating
a car...(gasp..car culture
society had it in for him)
gary numan who loved
cars lived...strange world

we are haunted and
pursued by the devils
of our desolation
the ones that got away
are the heroes of
the greatest shackles
of control
I am a strong believer
in Karmaic justice
and hoodoo voosoo
spirit mongering

And we all bear the shame
of the sins of our fathers...
]
that I believe much[

u are an interestin study
Poet!

the greatest upheaval of
change witness
still bent over the keyboard
tapping out words
and keep on
if our society is like the
wonderful creation as
the titantic
that structural folly
and its destruction
was already predicted
by a writer who wrote
The Levithian
so are poets
fictional protaganists
for mans progression
or thoughtful transgressions
to the random inevitable
of regression through
pride and ignorance
and predjudice
of powers that occasionaly
remind us that we
vesitual substance
of the tree of evolution
indeed have strayed
from the garden of
perfect harmony
and need too be
drawn back through
example...that we
are..humble
after all

thank U!

I am a free lance poet
and ensure
those who read me
may ignore

you are an exception here
all know
and your volley is
absolutely pure

author comment

interesting.

Thanks,loved

Alid

o n l y

author comment

I did say it is interesting but I do wonder if you are referring to "God" in this poem and I'm not sure how to comment much on that since I'm not a poet who write much on religion unless it is in Malay and that's the norm. So what right do I have to comment/critic much on it? That is why sometimes I hesitate. Most of your works are in free verse and that is where we are similar. Other than that, yours usually lean towards humor and again,I'm not even good at it to comment much. So what do you want me to say, my friend?

Alid

high five and thanks friend
u have done ur bit

author comment
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