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The fate of Love

Submitted by Jackweb on Wed, 2018-05-09 11:59

My heart sucks in waters of love,
No one knew i was shipwrecked
Before the wreckage
I was pretty piled up with pure conscience.

Thanks to this love!

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

chevyvent

Wed, 2018-05-09 12:37

chevyvent's picture

Write for you, not for anybody, ignore the critics, and write with feeling, with emotion, and you will be connected
Bindboggling in intricacy like a celtic knot woven in sacred grace.

What a moving and powerful poem with so many images, the last stanza... touched me deeply
Oh oh oh.....richest of depths revealed, as in the effusive color burst you have so skilfully penned into those poppy colored cracks~~~Lovely use of poetic language and device, too!!

A gorgeous interpretive spin painted in vivid shades that end in an end...
adept wordsmith your gifts are well displayed here

Mario Vitale

Jackweb

Wed, 2018-05-09 20:55

Jackweb's picture

Sir, i will always thank you very much for your analysis on my poems. You have a bird's eye view to see beyond others. Your words gives me goose bumps because they're all deeply rich and well expressed. Please be my mentor.

Thanks!
- Onyinyechi Cosmos

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

author comment

lovedly

Fri, 2018-05-11 20:01

lovedly's picture

it gives inner strengths
to the lonely and needy
when needed
you have the acumen
welcome

b not afraid to give off your mind
those who may adversely comment
may oft be outta mind
so em don't mind

I have come along
for so long
you to the ilks like me also belong
sing your song
ding dong

Jackweb

Sat, 2018-05-12 15:08

Jackweb's picture

lovedly, You're the best! You've conclusively explored me. I found your critique craft is very much acceptable.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

author comment

Jackweb

Sat, 2018-05-12 15:08

Jackweb's picture

lovedly, You're the best! You've conclusively explored me. I found your critique craft is very much acceptable.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

author comment

raj

Sat, 2018-05-12 15:22

to me this poem is about true unconditional love which survives even after a wreckage leaving behind a clear conscience..
............................................................................................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

Jackweb

Mon, 2018-05-14 06:40

Jackweb's picture

Thanks Raj ! ( Sublime Ocean), yeah, you gave a concise review and that was exactly what happened.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

author comment
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