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Fantasy Cock tails Part 1 and now added Second 11

PART ONE 1
Fantasy only
Who was she.
(the gals at the beach
who ask my camera not me)

Last night
at a COCKTAILS PARTY
she came out from the crowd
unknown
started fiddling with my tie...
Who was she...

She smiled
a guy stood by
unperturbed
she stared playing with my tie

LOVELY TIE
she softly uttered
Yes I said this is a lovely one
the only one

she said I know
how did you

I wondered we had never met
she again smiled
and I asked her name
NANNY she softly spoke
when was she killed
I instinctively asked her
she was shocked and pressed my tie
nice tie remember this I gave
shocked who was she

but you have not answered me

you know who did
as before it happened
you had warned me

Who is this guy standing by
my current hubby

O robust one will you face him
yes this time intelligently
she smiled

okay now let me go
meet other folks
she pressed my tie again
who was she
murdered exactly 9 months
before her new birth
was it real or a simple fantasy
ask not me

But who was she

I moved on
and returned to the same spot
she had gone

Then I looked around
over the shoulders of others
nowhere was she found
last time she had a son and daughter
again a similar pair

but who was she .

I gulped my scotch
then went for another shot
searched all over
but couldn't find her
who was she

heavens tell me

COCK TAILS PART 11

It was half actual
what was happening
by then I had had just 1/2 large Scotch
so wasn't yet tipsy
but in a while
as I spoke with her
as if she was my last births
assemblage

then she also openly toyed
with a stranger
it turned out to be an admixture
of reality and fantasy

I have asked for her whereabouts
But still I have my doubts
as you know folks
I don’t agree

reborn are we
how does one connect
except with telepathy

Ask your God willingly
If he had ever thought of such a story
it's happening strangely
her hubby smiling
the wifey was bold
but somehow had some element
of indirect love for me

could it be
am still wondering

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Those married women Do seem a bit more flirtatious don't they? likely because they feel freer knowing the game won't be taken seriously lol.....stan

PART 1
I thought I had posted
shall do so tomorrow
today's Quota is over
THEN you will ave a different version
sorry my error
as usual

author comment

afreshly stanly

author comment

To tell you the truth,
I couldn't finish reading it.
But it could be just me because I am tired and not a patient reader.
Also I feel bored with your choice of words and subject.

IRiz

To tell you the truth,
I couldn't finish reading it.
But it could be just me because I am tired and not a patient reader.
Also I feel bored with your choice of words and subject.

IRiz

I will repost Part one 1....
separately
words I 'm afraid
not much of a vocabulary
in my mind's library..
I also don't like epicurial
so you may stand by Lady

author comment

Good morning,
Don't listen to me, but yourself.
You are the only one to now how good the piece and how much it is you

IRiz

da

author comment

Honestly I liked the theme but neither the rhythm nor the words...you may have to re do the whole act if you would like to bring the best out of the theme ,,,

it would only be fair for me to explain what I mean with an example

She spotted me in a crowd
and waved to me
with a smile writ large
on her freckled face

When she drew up close
with a hello and hug
I thought she was trying
to hook me

she blushed like a rose
though withered over time
her scent seemed
familiar to me
........................................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

the story is half real- half fancy
as if 'twas a rebirth of a murdered gal

Even Irene said what you did
I will redo the whole episode
once I am free
then read PART 1 FIRST

WAIT
then after a while read PART 11
Then you will understand it well /better

thanks first time you have taken time to advise raj
grateful

author comment
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