Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

FALLING

In my heart a hollow, an abyss, a pit
A breaking wall I keep falling from
I keep falling down, I keep falling down
From your light into profound nothingness
Like a Raven the darkness beckons
Like the owl the blackness calls.

I keep falling into this hole,
Scrambling, stretching,
looking for something to hold
To pull me back up,
But nothing defies gravity
Nothing defies gravity…

So I keep falling
Plummeting further and further
From the light
From your smile,
From your waning dimple,
From your friendship,
From your voices…

It is a reckoning,
A wake,
Sooner or later the darkness will swallow all.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Hello,
A quite effective way to express a nightmare- I guess.
I don't think the last line is adding much to it but it is your poem and you know better.
Thank you for sharing.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.