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Fallen Leaves

Submitted by RoseBlack on Tue, 2022-11-15 20:34

I am the fallen leaves
From a tree that's lived too long
Wilting branches
Broken at the seams

My tears are that
Of the willow
Weeping, grieving
For this life I had

I've been dead inside
Longer than alive

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

scribbler

Tue, 2022-11-15 22:09

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well done getting the emotive content across

RoseBlack

Wed, 2022-11-16 05:53

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I am learning a lot from our fantastic writing family here!

~RoseBlack~

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Jackweb

Wed, 2022-11-16 06:12

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Amazing! Every word is perfect. The layers are thick in metaphor. Great job.
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

RoseBlack

Wed, 2022-11-16 07:57

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I am learning that less is more!

~RoseBlack~

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Candlewitch

Wed, 2022-11-16 06:38

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Autumn is my season. I feel an affinity to her. she is morbidly artistic in raw truth and so is this piece. very well done.

*hugs, the Cat

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RoseBlack

Wed, 2022-11-16 07:57

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I have missed you and hope you are doing well. Autumn is my season as well and I'm always a bit sad to see her go.

~RoseBlack~

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Candlewitch

Wed, 2022-11-16 08:36

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I am doing better with both the covid and the resulting of my fall. the bruises are bone deep. with the covid, it keeps giving me shots of extreme symptoms , I won't gross you out by writing them here. I sleep a lot. drop by here as often as I can. watching over y'all as a benevolent spirit ;)

*hugs, Cat

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When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

RoseBlack

Wed, 2022-11-16 10:14

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You will be on the mend soon. I had covid in the beginning of October and the fatigue was the worst for me. The rest felt like I had the flu.

~RoseBlack~

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Candlewitch

Wed, 2022-11-16 11:19

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I am not far from the bathroom, but I've had a few "accidents" unable to get there in time. I sleep a lot too. my legs are terribly fatigued. slowly I am starting to feel better. thanks for your good thoughts for my well being. much appreciated.

Steven is an angel, he waits on me hand and foot, as they used to say. he has cleaned me up a few times after a bathroom fiasco. most of the time, I feel like a limp noodle.

*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Geezer

Wed, 2022-11-16 16:11

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the barren side of a relationship. You really made this one stand out! It was brief but was full of expression.
Nice job! ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

RoseBlack

Wed, 2022-11-16 16:49

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I have had a lot of good examples to learn by.

~RoseBlack~

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Lavender

Wed, 2022-11-16 17:29

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Hi, RoseBlack,
The title and the theme throughout reveal an overwhelming weariness along with the spoken grief. Wonderful vivid imagery.
L

RoseBlack

Wed, 2022-11-16 19:18

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I am finding imagery sends such a strong message.

~RoseBlack~

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