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Fallen Angels (senryu)

Illusions of you
entwined in my memories
love, can never fade

The light you once shone
flickers in moonlight's shadow
my love for you, stays

Visions that once were
have gone from my sparkling eyes
I, now weep my loss

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
5/7/5 Syllables
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

of a love, is always hard to bear. You have described the pain very accurately. I particulary liked the last three lines. It sounds as though it were written by a student of Japanese. ~ Geez.
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Your kind comment has just gone straight to my heart. Thanks for being so great. I don't always get it right, I need to find myself some extra corouge sometimes but senryu I am so happy to write, and I'm glad it shows Thanks friend.

Thank you...Teddy

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