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The Failford Falls

THE FAILFORD FALLS

If by the River Ayr you stroll, from Mauchline to Mossblown
And winter light is fading fast, you might wish you'd stayed at home
But if it is the 29th of February (Leap Year)
You may hear a noise, like great Neptune's voice,
As Failford village nears.

The Fairy Failford Falls are high, with spray and noise like thunder.
Much higher than the Angel Falls; the Failford Falls fall further.
Victoria and Niagara Falls, though high, do not compare
To the Failford Falls, in between the walls,
Of the gorge in the River Ayr.

SO, if by kayak you intend, to paddle down to Stair,
And if it is a full moon night in February, BEWARE.
Don't take a chance, unless you know, that it is not Leap Year,
Or the odds are; you (and your kayak, too),
Will just simply disappear

The Fairy Falls at Faiford are a sight not to be missed,
But you and I both know the Falls at Failford don't exist

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Mauchline, Stair and Mossblown are all small towns in Ayrshire. The falls , unfortunately , I invented
Editing stage: 

Comments

Ian this is good, but i think it needs some work. I like the gist of this story, as i know every village and town spoken of. I am one of Jock Thampson bairns, a proud Ayrshireman. I like the Brig o Doon feel given here, and it makes me homesick just thinking about Mauchline and Stair. Good write but i think it could be better. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Thanks for the honesty, Roscoe, it makes an improved version much easier. I can only agree with you that this was not my finest hour. I gave the original some major surgery, cutting out the first verse and adding the last two lines but never confident. I think I may have fallen flat on my face by missing my target audience. (I didn't have one!) so it ended up neither fish nor fowl.
Thanks again for taking the time to help.
Regards
Ian

TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA

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