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Faery Grotto

FAERY GROTTO

We wade nude under waterfalls,
frolic in grottos, beneath canopies
of ferns, rest on lichen-smoothed rocks.
Timorous splashing,
skies veiled by mist,
June opalescence.

Spirits float in caverns,
we have goose-pimples on our thighs,
jungle lianas conceal
our love-making.

Whispers call
where only elves dare tread
and trim boulders with silky moss.
We climb out,
our lips bitten red, laughing.
Soft rain, tropical clouds
on southeast breeze,
black sand beaches.

Scamper into jeans,
grab rucksack
flung carelessly in glades’ recesses.

Barefoot, we dash on rutted road
to our campsite.
By the flapping tent-hole
we lie easy, listen
to dripping leaves.

Hours have been mislaid
in our humdrum lives,
poetry of our bodies linger
in memories of plunging shallows,
our day at the falls.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I wrote this poem long ago, for a contest at Mosaic Musings. I believe it won an H.M.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Language use is excellent and the theme is one that seems to be very popular during this upcoming Spring season.
The rhythm of it is smooth enough that it makes it seem like it rhymes. Very nice from beginning to end. No wonder it got a H.M. ~ Geezer.
.

Come to Chat on the Darkside
every other Saturday night 8pm to ?
Bring your dark and delicious work
to show.

Thank you, Gee. So glad you like it. We're going into winter, a long one this time around, so thoughts of Spring make me feel better, but remotely so. Here the water is icy because the lakes and brooks are from melting glaciers. Tx again.

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"The very existence of libraries affords the best evidence that we may yet have hope for the future of man." T.S. Eliot, from The Wasteland.

author comment

I pictured every word of your poem. So full of imagery. Nicely done

Let your mercy spill on all those
burning hearts in hell( L.Cohen)

Thank you, lynn. I finally got the imagery OK, after much work on it. xxx

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"The very existence of libraries affords the best evidence that we may yet have hope for the future of man." T.S. Eliot, from The Wasteland.

author comment

truly well done! As the Faeries or elves might have said, "It's time to send those two lovebirds, rucksacks and all, back to the Upperworld." Really, your poem is filled with magic. Gracy, always carry a medicated lip balm with you when you go spelunking, you hear? No crits at all. Beautiful work. Jerry

Yes, the lip balm...lol. I apologize for not thanking you all before this. I simply forgot I'd posted it here. One of the love birds is already in Heaven. Only the memories remain, but that's as it should be.
So glad you like it. Tx a lot for you kind comments.

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"The very existence of libraries affords the best evidence that we may yet have hope for the future of man." T.S. Eliot, from The Wasteland.

author comment

Hello Gracy, Yea, I've been there. Still have the pictures lol Well no, ya'll can't see em 35mm lol
This puts a smile on my face and that's all ya need to know from me.
Eww the streams below Canon Mountain are soooo cold lol.... yep goose pimples ;~)
Later,

~Mark~
To comment is necessary.
To acknowledge a comment is a compliment.

Live Chat is open 24/7,
come in, mix and mingle often!

I'm glad about your smiling at these old memories. A shame about the pics. I don't have any at all of this occasion, but it's true that dozens of others are of no use now. I'm told they can be renewed by some experts, but I suppose it's expensive,.
The lakes, waterfalls and streams are icy here because they are formed by melting glaciers. It's always been that way, tho' Antarctica is melting rapidly. Disaster would follow. Better not think about it.
I apologize for thanking you after so long, Mark. Your comments are uplifting.

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"The very existence of libraries affords the best evidence that we may yet have hope for the future of man." T.S. Eliot, from The Wasteland.

author comment

Imagery I can ponder indefinitely. Thanks for the slow smooth ride.

Glad you had a smooth ride, Happy! And that the imagery mades you ponder. Sorry for taking so long to answer. xxx

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"The very existence of libraries affords the best evidence that we may yet have hope for the future of man." T.S. Eliot, from The Wasteland.

author comment

is a very good title, a 'tell me more' title.
Language is wonderful, how could it be otherwise from you?
Rhythm etc. was fine also, a nice flow.
How could anyone not like a theme such as this?
Beginning and end are as they should be.
And, of course, logic is a delight to follow.

A very nice poem for all to read Gracy, so well done.
Last few words could include 'Wish you were here' though.

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Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

Thank you, Alan. I'm delighted that you enjoyed my poem. Again, sorry about taking so long to acknowledge your comment. Had some troubles and forgot I'd posted it here.
All the best!

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"The very existence of libraries affords the best evidence that we may yet have hope for the future of man." T.S. Eliot, from The Wasteland.

author comment
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