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Facebook wisdom

"I tripped and fell into some feelings...
I'm ok now, brushed that shit off" Facebook wisdom.

I tripped and fell into a vortex of brightly coloured feelings swirling swept me away to a land of dots and relish where honkas roamed freely, devouring and befiending irksome distractions to the moon just passing hitching a ride whilst fearing the failure of gravity and oh look at that just then it showed me all I understand everything...

Never quite brushed it off.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
The word trip has other meanings... And my typo just coined a word. Can't wait to use 'befiending' in a sentence. Honkas were my imaginary friends as a child. They look like pterodactyls and were sometimes friends and at others monsters.
Editing stage: 

Comments

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cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

seems to have run away.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

for me, very fresh way to discuss feelings. Has strong poetic rhetoric, but that I mean I "feel" what your are saying. The presentation is very modern, for lack of a better word. I think it works as an experiment, and is successful.

Love the hitch hiking moon. My first and second read, I read "relish" as a noun, not verb..that stuff you add to a hotdog..just sayin" . I do not know what a honka is. In NY where I grew up it was a term for a big nose, or "big honka", like Jimmy Durante. Pretty sure that's not what you meant!

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

relish is both, hallucinogens are strange. Honkas were my imaginary friends as a child. They look like pterodactyls and were sometimes friends and at others monsters.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

I'm an old Woodstock hippie, certainly did my share of hallucinogens. Aye, in the days of lore, when acid was acid...but still have some brain cells left. I can count them.

All I would like to suggest is in offering a poem with such a private personal thing such as the honka,
for the readers sake to better communicate your poem, put it in the notes so we can share with you.
With Appreciation, Thanks.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

will do.
thanks.

I manage to create some sparks by banging my two remaining brain cells together.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

This has the baste of ether in it. First it's about Goddamned Facebook, and then it's about a strangely patterened wall of feelings. I dig it heavily.

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