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Eyes yours and mine .........2010

Submitted by loved on Wed, 2013-01-02 08:26

today a fundamental was cleared
it's all about eyes,

I thought mine
were the most beautiful
till I saw yours

your eyes are
much more wonderful
mine even today
are stared at by guys and gals
old women and men
also look into them

what they adore
I’d love to know
for sure....

but friend
you mustn't close your eyes
as they love yours

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Frenchf

Thu, 2013-01-03 09:25

But could one of the "more" s be replaced?

loved

Thu, 2013-01-03 12:30

loved's picture

will see later when ..and which one ??

loved

author comment

loved

Thu, 2013-01-03 12:31

loved's picture

i follow will do some knifing tomorrow
busy today thanks

loved

author comment

Frenchf

Thu, 2013-01-03 16:11

" but friend you musn't close your eyes as they love yours?
Does. THis work?

loved

Fri, 2013-01-04 03:17

loved's picture

I have just added her as my poetic fan
I adore for her boldness

I'm glad we learn from each other here
tc
A very happy new year to you too.. regards

loved

author comment
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