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Evolution (according to a robin chick)

You, little robin chick
Resting au nest at solstice
Wing off riding to the music of freedom
Mother shouts erratic verse;
Vocals of ancestry

Don’t even say good-bye
As you land on frond pillows
Return address unknown
Chirping change on a countryside festival

Evening sky, low flight navigation
your future - meandering discoveries
Pass it on…

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I understood all but line 2nd verse fourth line
You my good man have a very cryptic way of writing , that I have yet to understand I know there is something more underlying in your words and that is what puzzles me

Chrys

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it's like a metaphor for progress. You cannot go back.
Thanks for reading.
Later,
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THE MARK
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If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

author comment

this is a metaphor for leaving home and discovering your own way. "Wing off, riding to the music of freedom" "Mother shouts erratic verse; vocals of ancestry" "your future meandering discoveries." I would have thought, that the last line of the 2nd verse, meant: Singing for change at a country-side festival. Sort of like making do with little resources. Anyway, good poem that made me think. I'm not sure that just "Evolution" is right, but at least it goes in the right direction. ~ Geez.
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▸ noun: a process in which something passes by degrees to a different stage (especially a more advanced or mature stage) ("The evolution of Greek civilization")
What do you think?
Later and thank you..
.

THE MARK
.
If you take the time to read a poem then take the time to let the author know you were there. Study it and form an opinion as well, even if it means going back to it more than once. That is basic critique, what Neopoet is all about.

author comment

That sounds about as right as you might get.
~ Geez.
.

Comments and critique are vital to this site!
Even if you just say: I liked this story or your spelling
of a word is wrong, take the time to write a line or two
and comment. Your fellow poets will thank you!
.

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