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"Evermore" “Quoth the Kookaburra”

He spoke to me in gentle tones
About mulling over ancient bones,
better things to think I ask of you.
shall we then find something anew?

To talk till evening stars emerge.
Where worlds collide, truths are heard
in rooms closed from our busy world
let’s talk of things that hide within.

I fear the dawn, the sinking sun
I am now lost, let them freely run
yet they are here with us to learn.
Each step a path to peace we yearn

He spoke of wild look's in my eyes
how I had failed to learn and realise
all loved me as we journeyed on
this place is where we all belong.

He laughed at me as off he flew
You silly man why can’t you see
Life’s not to be taken seriously
Get a grip, let yourself be

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
This is now a joint piece with additions from our Ephraim, with many thanks for his excellent attention to detail. Title taken from a line that Jess, put on a comment the other day, it is something with which I have had to play. Seems like a Neopoet Poem!! I would prefer a Toki in my Garden!!!! ("Japanese crested ibis") reknown for its Wisdom, Yours Ian.T
Editing stage: 

Comments

Thank you very much for your input..
The piece now joined to your wisdom, is now whole.
Thanks again ,
Yours Ian.T

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There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

The opposite of my alter, The Raven......always love to.read your kind words and your positive messages.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Thank you for your visit, I jotted this down as a reply to Jess, I think he put the title line on a comment to you??
Just playing with words and thoughts again, I have a tape here it is titled "The Raven" songs from a local group that live up near Churchill in Canada, when I remember, I shall find it out.
The songs were of the harsh North and their fears, a guy there ran a radio station for the area, his Wife was a beautiful Inuit lady.
We met in Ottawa she was dressed in a beautiful pure white swede leather, and a matching carrier for the tiny Baby she had with her. Her husband gave me a tape of their songs mind you the baby will be 30 years old by now LOL or even more, shush.
I notice that you live in New York.
We had an Aunty that lived there a long time ago and we lost touch, she was an organist was married and had two boys, she use to send us food parcels just after the war, see it is history again.
Have a lovely day out there and as you say Keep writing,
Yours Ian

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

the big difference is their sense of humour. True story- I once watched my siamese kitten stalk a fully grown kookaburra for about half an hour. The kitten would wriggle it's bottom, pounce, and the the kookaburra would simply lift straight up and leave the kitten looking confused. Then settle down again. The kitten repeated the exercise repeatedly. Make no mistake, the kookaburra could have killed the kitten instantly.

Ian's last word of the poem are to remind me who I am.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

Thanks for your visit it is most welcome, if, hat, and fits, spring to mind. lol
Take care all our thoughts go out, so can't think for myself, you know the feeling lol.
See you soon young Elf,
Yours as always, Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment
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