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Evening by the sea

Submitted by Penny on Tue, 2022-03-29 16:30

An evening by the sea shore,
my mind often ponders,
Over whelmed by nature's beauty,
Dumbstruck by the wonders.

Be it the infinity of the sky,
Or the vastness of the sea,
Who's is who's shadow,
A question that will be.

Do they run along eternally,
Or merge to become one,
What is more beautiful,
The starry sky or the rising sun.

The uncertainty of the bond,
Of the shore, waves and breeze,
Is it the kiss of a lover,
Or just a friends tease,

As I was sitting alone,
Watching the sky change its hue,
With the dazzling beauty,
Quite an audience it suddenly drew,

With all those unanswered questions,
Only one thing I did understand,
All I can be is a mere spectator,
Even to the sand running through my hand.

Review Request (Intensity):

I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Review Request (Direction):

What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Tue, 2022-03-29 23:39

Good rhythm...

I get the feeling that we are all just spectators on this whirling ball of life. Nice stuff! ~ Geezer.
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Jackweb

Wed, 2022-03-30 02:15