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On the Eve of 2020

Once before the nation was split like wolf-packs
Fighting over a bloody carcass.
Wars and corruption was all the news
And everybody grew their hair long.

And what did all the tumult bring?
As all we wanted was to laugh again
Like the children we were then;
The roaring years of drugs and fun,
And roller-skating to a sonic drum.

Hope’s a homeless animal on the streets of now
In history’s dialectic of psychotic despair-
Everything’s impossibly different
And yet the same chaos governs all things.

Tell me what the future brings.
Who would dare!

What will be known of us ancient ones,
Dancing like the dervishes
As the planet melts and air becomes thick.
We are each part of it, we all take our share.

Each of us, alone, spinning in the past
To find a home for hope at last.

Editing stage: 
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Comments

who remember the 60s and more are feeling despair and remembering hope.
Good poem, I feel a bit stretched for rhyme in places

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I've been experimenting with mixing up blank verse with rhymes. Trying to vary the pace of the reading. Did you find this a distraction?

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

author comment

I usually do the same but it feels natural to me, not like experimenting.
Maybe close your eyes and just let it flow.
I do that a lot. What comes is often bizarre with heaps of typos but I often find the germ of a poem in it.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I find it easy to read and understand. I think that rhetorical questions are an important part of a piece such as this.
(I might have used 'whirling like the dervishes' in penultimate stanza)
Ending is excellent I think.
I hope that you are pleased with it.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
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I guess I favored the alliteration. I had spinning, then whirling but chose dancing to use the idea of what the dervishes are doing with a more common act, without the religious connotation.
It’s interesting how Auden still occupies the landscape, this poem is so influenced by his poem about 1939... thanks for your reading.
.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

author comment

I thought that you would have given careful thought to your poem. However, it is still of value to me your having explained, so well, your line of thought ~ thanks Eumolpus.

.......................................
Critique is a compliment
Kind regards, Alan
.......................................

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