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Eulogy The Women in Jerry’s Life

The Women in Jerry’s Life
1.
First there was that girl called Heather,
Who wouldn’t go out in wet weather.
I made her shower--
Some dirt and some flour
Were things that held her together.

the grieving widow decided to
remove canto 2. Jerry
has gone far enough!

3
I met that thin girl named “Gater;”
She was so thin--no guy’d take’er.
No bun and no breast,
A pencil at best--
I said, “See ya later, Gater.”

4
This crippled girl from Ventura
Had only one-half-a figura;
No leg at her left side,
Right-armed and right-eyed--
Made her All Right, that’s for sura.

5
A very nice girl was Trudy,
But, she was grainy and woody!
I found her knot hole,
deleted by the embarrassed widow.

6
Well, you know me and my keen eye;
With Woody inside, on the sly
I peered into that nest,
Had my eye on the pest--
Now I use it only to cry.

7
Now through that one eye I can’t see,
Yes, ja, dire di sì, and oui!
If I use an aggie,
Not wood that’s so scraggly--
Would that be a good eye for me?

8
I hope you may never suggest
That only blue aggies look best?
See? my good eye is brown
(deleted by the sorely ashamed widow)

9
“You wanna dance?” I asked Miss Meg
(My wood eye matched her wood’n leg).
When she cried, “Wood I!”
I said with a sigh:
“No prize is your damn wooden peg.”

10
But, I took Miss Meggy to bed;
Her legs she then finally spread...
“Splintered, rough timber,
Not at all limber--
You make a great wood pile,” I said.

11
And there was this coed, Brigitte
Who was a very short midget;
I stood on my head
To kiss this coed,
And so became awfully rigi(t)d.
12
Miss Brigitte gave me a bad cold
And my head feels in size threefold;
My nose runs like hell,
My head’s like a bell,
There’s no doubt, for me it has tolled.

Epitaph
13
In life this geezer was called Jerry.
He was ev’ryone’s huckleberry.
Quick to laugh--quick to cry,
He laughed, when ‘bout to die--
But not when Jerry they did bury.

Last few words: 
croaks the raven: nevermore.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

i'm sure some of the feminists will be writing something to you, very naughty naughty, politically correct it is not! TUT TUT
LOL i wonder will you recieve another slap from Lynda for this????? ( NO COMMENT) LOL

Thank you...Teddy

yeah, I need a good spanking; make it hard--on all four cheeks. Ouch! oh Yeah! don't stop! what kind of a pervert do you take me for? lol-- You think someone might be offended? I hope so; I need more comments or I'll fade away. Thanks for being a fan (of 3 speeds). Jerry-berry.

>
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>Please visit my website: www.jerrykspoetry.com

author comment

Hang on in there, you'll never fade away. Maybe you will get jumped by a very very short lady at the market today though. lol it was a pleasure to.meet all your ladies

Thank you...Teddy

but how short will she be, Teddy? Shorter than my Thumb? Yeah, I hung out with the darndest women--and then Lynda came along . . . as a normal woman. She really threw me--at first I thought she was a kangaroo because of the pouch she had. Just kidding. LOL. shouldn't you be in bed? Good nite, Teddson.

>
>
>Please visit my website: www.jerrykspoetry.com

author comment
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