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Erie Chill

Cold icy breeze
Coming off the lake
Boats slowing down
Trying not to wake

Arriving at port
Pulling up to dock
Enters a man
Late 12 0 clock

Body is shivering
Standing there alone
Hearing a bell
Set an evil tone

Heavy steps sound
As nothing walks by
Looking up again
The eyes don't lie

Thought I saw
I never could tell
Maybe a ghost
Straight out of hell

Into the shadows
So silent and still
Disappears the man
Just like an Erie Chill

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
I live by Lake Erie and people talk about a ghost that lives by port. None of which is true, so I made the story my own. I had written a verse about the lighthouse but it didn't seem to flow. I was on this site a few years ago before it crashed. I just want to get back into writing and reading again. Thanks for your time and any help you can offer.
Editing stage: 


...effort; Mr. Chill ! Very nice, smooth rythm, too. I was born in Trenton, Michigan....and, when that wind came south out of Canada...then "bounced" off of the lake; well, let's just say I am familiar with what you speak of !
Nice job, I had to go get my robe before I had finished reading it !

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

Thanks for taking your time and reading Doc. Oh, just wait for the Lake to freeze and we both will be getting what feels like artic air. Take care and stay warm.

author comment

Firstly, welcome back to Neopoet, it has changed a little, where the workshops and learning is a lot more organised and on going..
This piece is fun and runs rather well as you should if it is Killer on the prowl lol. Have a look at Geezers works and you will see what I mean, he said Killer was on the move ???? also have a look at eternal Renga with Barbara it suits short lined rhyme, anyway take care and enjoy your time here, Yours Ian.T

There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Thanks for the advise. I look forward to being here again an I will look into the work you suggested. Thanks again.

author comment
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